Men, Whats something you did/said in a relationship that you will never forgive yourself for?

36 comments

  2. The mistakes I made while learning how to be a proper boyfriend. Yeah those were the mistakes everyone makes at least once, but It just sucks to have done things like that.

  4. Telling here I still loved my ex. That shit haunted me from day 1 to day done.

  5. “Can we just be friends?”
    She accepted, but I felt all the passive aggression in her actions. Don’t ever do this, guys. Cut her off.

  6. Not talking about the things that were uncomfortable or might cause conflict. I’m convinced to this day that that’s what cost her her life

    I hate seeing these but EDIT: she did not die due to mental issues. It was due to a rare interaction with birth control pills. However we both knew she didn’t want to be on them but I was wanting to wait a bit longer before kids. If we had talked we most likely would’ve found a different preventative measure or gotten help for the issues the pills caused. I’m deeply sorry for the loss of everyone of you who lost a partner

  8. Stayed in a relationship way longer than I should have. Allowed myself to get emotionally abused, nearly leading to being physically abused on 2 occasions.

  10. Biggest regret. Leaving on bad terms. I really wish I could have been the cool guy and just ended things amicably. So that in the future if we ever saw each other, it would maybe be an awkward and half-happy hello, instead of an OH SHIT and turn the other direction moment. Oh well, live, love, and learn.

  12. Giving her the silent treatment. I was too emotionally immature to know how toxic it is.

  14. Accidentally said I loved her when she was crying over the break up (I did the break up).

    It just came out without me realizing. Felt pretty stupid for being dishonest, though she knew I was trying to comfort her and she could tell it was because we were both very emotional.

  16. A year into my relationship with my physically abusive ex-gf, we got sloshed… She had sexual assault trauma and I was addicted to porn (we were a terrible couple for almost 3 years lol).
    We got into an argument and she started hitting me; I was tired of getting beat up and fought to leave the apartment against her wishes. She followed after me into the street and begged me to go back. I told her she had one hour to talk and then I was leaving again.. We talked for more than an hour and she became physically abusive again, and this time guarded the door while berating/attacking me.

    Something i will never forgive myself for is:
    becoming so enraged/frustrated that I chose to fall backward while she was leaning into me (to stop me from leaving), then, mid-fall flipping her around and landing on her, breaking her collar bone in the process.

    the break healed naturally and she will always have a mark.. A year later she went to jail for domestic violence (scratching my face) , and 2 months after I went to jail for breaking her windows when I had finally had had enough..

    almost have never told anyone this story. really hope she is happier now, learned a lot from her

  19. Easy, caught her straight up cheating when we were just dating, but i was young n dumb and one blow job later and a touch of gaslighting— i have 2 kids, a house i dont own but paid for , and severe mental problems 😀

    ​

    Fuck you past roy. You should of known better. Dumbass.

  20. In my early twenties I had a partner who insisted I be honest all the time about everything. She assured me she wanted this, and specifically told me that this included my thoughts about her appearance and weight and everything.

    Mistake: I believed her

    She often asked if she looked like she gained weight. And at ome point she had, so I as nicely as possible told her yes, she had gained a bit, while emphasizing I still thought she was smoking hot

    yeah no… never again. Even if a woman thinks they want that kind of honesty, most really do not

    women already face pressures about their appearance and deal with the body image issues that result. I don’t care if my lady has put on weight or not, it’s all body positive messages from me now. They have to deal with insecurities at work and in public, so I regret every instance where I wasn’t a refugee from that.

    If it’s so much weight it becomes a health issue, they can hear it from their doctor, but not me

  21. Breaking up with her

    She was the best thing to ever happen in my life and I threw it away because my dick was telling me to go chase hoes.

    She then went on to marry a good friend of mine and she’s become an amazing wife and mother.

    I hate my dick

  22. Telling her what she wanted to hear in order to avoid conflict or any sort of uncomfortable situation.

  23. Reacted badly to her pregnancy announcement. I was too young, too immature to accept the responsibilities. She chose to get an abortion because of it, and it created a rift that eventually led to our break up.

    It’s been almost a decade and I’m certain that I let go of the one. Haven’t been able to keep a stable relationship since, and I’ve lost too much sleep thinking about that mistake.

  24. Me being verbally abusive for my mental issues. She being a good girl still to this day I cannot find her any fault. She was so compassionate towards me. So understanding. Putting in so much effort for me. I feel depressed and sad for her. I miss her company. Also feel happy in a greater extent that she finally being able to leave a mentally ill person. I always pray and hope she finds the love of her life. Where she does not have to deal with any abuse. And me finally understanding my issues, working on it since then. And I am proud that I, myself, have come a long way since then.

  25. Can I tell you the worst a man has said to me? I’m only doing this to prevent someone from doing the same.

    A little bit of background I suppose. I was in the foster system for a minute as a young kid. Both parents had substance abuse issues. Mom split and I lived with an abusive father, and I was often passed around to whichever family member would take me for a short amount of time. I obviously have some issues lol but I have seen therapist throughout the years and have a great job/income.

    On this particular night we were arguing and he said “ you’re unlovable; your parents knew it when they f#%*ed you off, your own mother didn’t want you and daddy beat you, you were a burden to everyone since birth”

    And that rings in my ears every time someone says they love me.

  26. I made so many mistakes in hindsight, so many missed chances to correct things. One that haunts me is she was having an issue at home, and asked me to meet her at really short notice.

    I said no. I was stupid, and it was because I was in work stupidly early the next day for a job I didn’t care about. We didn’t split over it, but it eats me up to this day.

  27. I just didn’t break up soon enough. What should’ve been a 3 week hookup ended up being a 3 year mistake. Shit sucks.

  28. Honestly I can’t think of anything.

    I’ve always been 100 percent faithful. Never talked to or had feelings for other girls. Even if I realized I had something in common with a girl I would immediately cut them out. I’ve never raised hands in an argument either. I usually just storm away then shortly after just lay next to them and inch closer until we are hugging then just move on

    When I got divorced it was her cheating on me and when she said we shouldn’t be together I just said “well ok”. I am not gonna fight for someone who doesn’t want to be with me.

  30. I wish I would not have listened to the church for pretty much anything regarding what a relationship looks like. Unlearning that crap has been a lifelong endeavor.

  31. 1985-ish Pre-kids, my wife wanted to buy some rattan furniture for the inside of our new home. I said I didn’t like that idea because “it’s not very functional” after I had just purchased a Pontiac Fiero. Ooooff. Took a while to live that one down. Would like to think I’ve become a little more self aware since then.

  32. Not leaving sooner. He started cheating about 6 months into it and I should’ve just let it go but I wanted to make it work because I loved him. Never doing that shit again. It hurts but you’ll get over it.

  33. Now ex-wife (obviously) asked me if I had ever met anyone that ticked all my “sexual boxes”. I said yes, but then told her it had been a different woman many years ago.
    I don’t like the game of “asking questions you dont want the answers to” and I had made that clear during the relationship. But still, that is by far the worst thing I have ever done in a relationship. Ever. Other people, even if it’s true don’t ever say this. I can’t even imagine how hurt she was and eventually it turned into something which she repeatedly brought up during our future fights.
    I think I’ll remember and regret that moment for as long as I live. I didn’t even say it in anger or to hurt her, just blurted it out like an idiot without thinking.

  34. Not giving her the assurance, attention and security that she need, hence, the break up

  35. This is going to sound so small, but I yelled at an ex when we were just having fun throwing water at each other while doing the dishes. She threw a bit too much and made a little puddle on the floor and I said “Now we have to clean that up.”

    Just like that, the fun was over. I saw her face go from happy to sad in a second as she apologized. It hurts my damn heart so much to this day just thinking about it. I saw my own parents in myself right then and there, how they’d punish me over seemingly nothing. I saw that I did to her exactly what I felt as a child. It was the only time I ever did it, and I still can’t stop thinking about how bad I felt for ruining such an innocent, fun moment.

  36. Not really answering your specific question, but my parents fought extensively throughout my childhood. I will never forget the day my dad was walking down the stairs after a bad fight with my mom and muttered,

    “That’s why all you’ll ever be good for is lying on your back.”

    I was maybe 12 at the time.

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