Gentlemen of Reddit, how early in a relationship is it okay to talk about marriage, or even ‘being wife/husband material’?

27 comments

1. I find it’s an age thing. The older you get, the faster it’s acceptable.

2. Talk about your intentions for what you want as early after you get to know the person. This prevents too much emotional damage.

3. It’s fine to talk, but try not to sound too keen to get there

4. As early as possible really. Earlier the better if they’re cool with it

5. I talk about intentions before the first date so no one is wasting another’s time. As for whether someone is husband/wife material I’d put that off a bit. I should note I’m saying that because I’ve scared a couple good ones off bringing it up too soon. And also because sometimes I think they’re wife material and I find out I didn’t know them as well as I thought

6. To mention marriage or your goals? Day 1 is fine. To mention you two getting married? Anywhere from 6 months to many years, depends on the couple.

7. Don’t do it.

8. Idk. I started at about 3 weeks. We’ve been married for over 4 years and have 2 kids.

9. I talk about it on Date 1.

   My intention is marriage.

10. After becoming official, meeting all her friends and family, future plans / goals / careers laid out. 8 months minimum imo

11. First date, my wife told me her intention with dating was to get married. She wanted a family. I was 33 and widowed and she was 29 and divorced. It didn’t phase me at all. She wasn’t pressuring me, she just asked that if that isn’t my goal too, then be honest and not waste each other’s time. I found it refreshing.

12. The easy answer is “Don’t bring it up.” This is because if your partner wants to talk about it they will. If they don’t want to bring it up, you don’t need to either.

    If they bring it up and you are not ready, say so and that’s that.

13. I met my girl on Tinder in January, we became official in May and we’re getting married in January – we’re both 44 and nothing has ever felt so right, so quickly before

14. Just the idea of whether or not you want to get married someday down the road? I think first date is fine.

    Actually talking about getting married to each other? Maybe 6-12 months after living together.

15. Depends on how serious the relationship is

16. I bring up marriage and kids on date one. I don’t have time for women who aren’t aiming to be great moms to my future offspring.

17. If she didn’t offer anal on the first date. She isn’t the one anyway.

18. If you mean discussing what you’re generally looking for (long-term, casual dating, marriage, kids, etc),on a first date. No sense in wasting anyone’s time.

    If you’re talking about marrying that person specifically, though, or that person being wife/husband material, then that would be really weird on the first few dates. IMO, you’d need *at least* a few months to gauge that, and even that seems like it’s moving really fast.

19. sounds like you are speed racing into marriage, bro. And yeah, it does make sense for people to rush into marriage the older the couple gets. With, you know, women losing most of their fertlity as they enter their 30s. But still. Getting married to someone you barely know just because the woman is nearly sterile due to her age makes no sense to me.

    Oh well, i guess these days it’s easy to get a divorce if things don’t work out.

20. To talk about it with them? That’s probably a bridge to cross once you have done your own personal vetting inside your head, and are reaching a point where YOU think this person might actually be wife/husband material.

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    You can’t possibly know that on a first date. And at the early stages of a relationship, there’s no point getting into this sort of conversation because you know so little about the person. It might only take a few weeks before you see a major red flag, and then wife/husband material is off the book and you dump them to move on. So it would have been a waste of your time to talk about it prior to that.

21. I will preface this at the age of 43. Been there, done that, didn’t work out. If she never wants to marry that is fine. I could live the rest of my life with a partner that is not married to me. Legal technicality is not important.

22. Why was this tagged NSFW? Lol

23. How about if the guy you’re dating is still going through a divorce.. asking for a friend 🤣🙋🏽‍♀️

24. 2 years talk about it 4 years being together before considering it.

25. For me it was after 3 months of dating. We were engaged 3 months after that.

26. Set expectations on the first date. A casual… “do you ever want to get married?” is totally acceptable. If he freaks out then he is wasting your time.

27. After being burned by a love and affection addict, I’ll be waiting 18 months to 3 years in a relationship before considering it again. That’s the range limerance can last.