I’ve been seeing this woman for over two months now. I find her very attractive and want to make sure I please her, but for over 2 months I’ve yet to make her orgasm, to my knowledge. I’ve had my fair share of sexual partners so I would consider myself experienced. In fact there’s been only one other woman that I was not able to reach orgasm or squirt.
I’ve asked her many times for her favorite position but she doesn’t like to talk about it or just repeated what my favorite positions were. When we’re having sex I ask her how she wants or what she wants and she just responds with “I want you to tell me” where she wants me to take the lead. I feel bad because I always get to orgasm but she doesn’t. I feel I’m getting all of mine and she’s not getting hers.
There are a number of times during sex where she starts breathing heavier, squeezes the sheets or hands and makes a lot of noise almost to the point where it seems she’s about to climax but then she either just gets off or stops or pushes away very quickly, changes position, or it just seems to go away after she says “keep doing that or right there or don’t stop” and I just keep going.
I asked her if she’s ever had an orgasm and she said never to penetrative she always thought it had to be from stimulation to her clit. But even then I have yet to get her off from that.
Is this possibly a mental block going on? She’s not fully comfortable? Or how do I ask her or find out what she likes best or what makes her climax if she doesn’t want to talk about it or seems to stop right before she’s about to reach?
I don’t think lube is an issue because she gets very wet.
3 comments
She is a very lucky woman to have someone care about her wellbeing during sex. It definitely could be a mental block since you’ve only been together for 2 months. A couple things to keep in mind- foreplay starts hours before you hit the sheets. If you make sure to get her mentally ready, it is likely she will be more receptive. Also, if she is like a majority of women, it will help her orgasam with prolonged foreplay & teasing. Take a shower together, give her a massage, or touch her before removing her clothes. Take note of what she likes and keep doing it. Verbally remind her of why you love basking in her presence.
It seems like you have done a great job communicating so far. Encourage her to do the same. Have you considered using sex toys together?
The scenario you described where she breathes heavier and then it goes away is common. This happens to me all of the time. In my experience, it is because I feel pressure to cum in a timely manner. I don’t want to be selfish.
I would encourage you to keep asking her what feels good. Make sure she feels safe an unrushed as you enthusiastically eat that pussy! Hahah. Don’t give up on her, sometimes it is a mental battle for us women. I think it could be a game changer if you took a night to completely spend on her. Tell her that tonight the focus pleasing her. Add prolonged foreplay (if she’s in to that) and slowly build up to oral. Have the mindset that you are not orgasaming that night, but you will fight for hers no matter how long it takes. That could make her feel very valued and more comfortable. Don’t do that if you don’t really feel that way. Women can smell lies.
I would straight up tell her “Babe I would like you to be more vocal about your desires in bed because I want to please and satisfy you.” Ask her things like that outside of the bedroom. While you are having sex ask for directions like you mentioned you have been. If she won’t tell you, listen to her body language as to what feels good. Keep doing that.
I am rooting for you! I know what it feels like to not orgasam; however, you are taking the right steps to make a change for your woman.
I hope you gained some insight from this. Do not fear, for she will cum.
I was in a relationship with a women who had an extremely hard time orgasming through penetration. She could only orgasm through clit stimulation. We actually found a great thing that worked for her. Go and buy a little silver bullet vibrator (the ones that are oval and like 1.5” long). Have her lay on the bed where you can enter her standing up on the side of the bed. Put the bullet on her clit and then enter her all of the way to where your body is holding the bullet up against her clit. Now you can thrust while also having the vibrating bullet stimulate her clit. Always had success bringing her to orgasm this way during sex.
Can she orgasm from masturbation? Do you go down her? How about incorporating a vibrator during sex?