I am 23F, currently living with my parents. My dad has been giving me the silent treatment since the last 3 days, and I don’t even know why. We’ve been discussing my career options and I disagree with him sometimes. He’s usually very loving and supportive about everything. I’ve tried talking to him several times in vain. It hurts when he laughs and chats with his friends on phone, while he won’t even acknowledge my presence. My mom says I probably dismissed his advice a little too harshly, but I don’t think I did.
This is not new. He often gives my mom the silent treatment, sometimes for days. He eventually becomes normal, but never discusses the issues. I’m so frustrated and I’m not sure how to cope with this.
My mom almost hit me because I didn’t want to spend my emotional energy trying to placate my dad. It brought back the memories of all the times I was hit as a kid, and it made me so sad.
The way my dad shows his love is uhh different. Always trying to play fight with me, poking me, tickling me etc, which is super annoying. He won’t stop until I throw water at him or hit him or something, because words never work. I like to maintain boundaries, and he’s always trying to break them.
I still very much love my parents, but I’m so hurt and frustrated and annoyed.
TL;DR: Dad is giving me the silent treatment for some unknown reason, and I need help to cope.
6 comments
I am so sorry that your parents are abusive. I hope you can move out soon, and I think you should plan to do that. The usual thing to do when someone gives you the silent treatment is leave them alone until they stop. It’s their problem t deal with, not yours.
I’m sorry that you’re living with abusive parents.
What can you do to get out of there?
I’d suggest some beginner books so you can heal. This is a really essential step that will protect you from abusive friendships and relationships, which you’re primed for. It’ll also help prevent you from abusing your kids in your future.
– Running on Empty: Overcoming Your Childhood Emotional Neglect
– The Self Compassion Workbook
– The Body Remembers
It’s not your job to placate your dad. Spend as much time out of the house as you can, and try not to use the ‘bad boyfriend escape route’ where you hastily move in with the first guy who offers.
Your parents are assholes and the best thing you can do for yourself is not be around them as soon as possible.
Wow. Your dad is just an awful human being. This is just toxic bullshit 100% and the reality is you probably didn’t do anything wrong. He does it, because he knows it works. Its completely unhealthy and toxic and he doesn’t care you or what he’s doing to the relationship.
Just ignore him 100%. Stop acknowledging his existence. He wants to be no contact with you, OK be no contact with him. Eventually he’s going to break and complain you’re being disrespectful or some such bs, just remind him when he does that he started it and whatever horrible thing he says about your reaction to him, is twice as true about him .
Move yourself out of the house. Don’t look back.
Sounds like your Dad is a terrible communicator! Silent treatment or winding you up physically. Either way, not using his words! This isn’t your fault or your problem to fix, but I get why it makes you sad. My dad will give people the silent treatment for days on end and no one has figured out how to fix it. Therefore, like me, I hope you have other people in your life who you can relate to better, as your parents do not sound like they can give you decent emotional support.
>My dad has been giving me the silent treatment since the last 3 days (…) This is not new. He often gives my mom the silent treatment, sometimes for days.
>My mom almost hit me because I didn’t want to spend my emotional energy trying to placate my dad.
Your parents are abusive and you don’t deserve this behavior. There is no “why,” you haven’t done anything wrong, and you’re 100% correct not spending your energy placating them. You should focus your energy on getting out of that house.