Hi, im a 27 yo male, i went out recently with a girl from college that i hadn’t seen in 3 years. We had a great time, drank, danced and kissed, then we took an uber and said goodbye with a kiss, anyway this was on friday and i knew she was going out to another party on Saturday so I didn’t wanna create any conversation during that day other than saying i got home safe and that. Then on sunday i respond to her story and she says she loves what she shared to which i say something like a compliment and then i sent her something stupid that i found funny and was sort of related to what she shared but the funny thing was there was a condom involved in the picture and i mentioned the damn thing… she hasn’t responded since but didnt see the message or the picture i sent lol… is what i said a red flag or something? Or am i overthinking this whole thing and maybe she just doesn’t wanna talk yet? I doubt she forgot to respond honestly, im kinda tripping over this, i need advice 😭 im kinda insecure but I thought we had the confidene to laugh at something like that lol
10 comments
Good god it’s impossible to follow what you’ve written here.
You mentioned sex or sex accessories after one date/hangout.
I would find that a red flag too
I thought girls were the only one’s who overthink the aftertaste of a date, lol. Guys do this partial ghosting thing all the time, and then text two days later saying “hey” again.
Honestly, don’t overthink it. Wait for the weekend, then ask her out again. But leave the chat empty until then. Don’t bombard her.
You could salvage it by just apologizing. Did you send the picture without knowing the condom was in it?
Relax go on with your day
She not girlfriends or anything. If she responded great if not moved on. I don’t know why you send picture to her. Stop being a fool with her or try being funny. Just do simple stuff like you look cute are you single?
Dude, get off Instagram and forget about the girl. This whole soap opera about liking and sharing and commenting is unbecoming of a grown man. If you want to talk to a woman, text her or call her directly and tell her what you want or how you feel.
Sending sexual stuff before you’ve actually gotten sexual with a woman has a decent chance of backfiring, seems like you *might* be experiencing that. Or maybe she just didn’t find it funny or just isn’t into you anymore and is ghosting you now, who knows. Try not to worry about it too much at this point, what’s done is done.
Leave it be for the time being, and try starting a new convo in a few days or so, and if she’s receptive then ask her out againg
My first thought as a woman is that you might have assumed she’s taking it more seriously than she actually is. You never know what her actual intentions are, but that doesn’t mean it has anything to do with you. If she went out with you, she clearly wanted to. Maybe she has other stuff going on though such as having feelings for someone else or having other stuff going on in her life and not wanting a relationship. Don’t take it personally if she doesn’t want to hang out or talk/vibe. It’s not you. It really rare ever is. Just be your genuine self. If you’d like to see her again, just ask her. If she says no or gives some reason, or even if she doesn’t respond then.. that’s really not even on you. Things like that happen all the time because people just.. have different things going on tbh. If she isn’t being clear and straightforward with you then yes take it as a red flag because mature women make sure that things are clear, whether they want to date you or not. Best of luck.
You ask her out again.
“I had a great time with you and want to see you again. When are you free to get together?”
Don’t waste time texting or sending memes or snapping or DMing. Just ask her when she’s free to get together.
Then you plan a date where the two of you can hang out and have fun.
She’ll either want to see you again or she won’t. Either way, you took your shot.
Don’t say anything. You have to play hard to get now. The balls in her court. If she wants to talk to you she will. You have already don’t your part so just let her come to you.