Honestly, I don’t even think I know how to meet people. I grew up in a small town and my friends were kind of always just my friends.
I got pregnant at 19 with someone I grew up with, we stopped speaking. I met someone online before the baby was one and we ended up living together a few months later.
We were together for nearly a decade and I think a large portion of the end of that was just not knowing how to be apart even though it wasn’t healthy (or at least it was for me).
I never dated casually, I never went out and met people, I’ve never started at the beginning. Now I’m separated, nearing the end of my 20’s, and raising my son 50/50 (while we weren’t great for each other as partners, we co-parent well).
I don’t know how to date, I don’t know how to meet people, I don’t know how to put myself out there, I don’t really feel like I know how to do any of it… And I certainly don’t know how to do any of it with the history of “separated mother of a nearly 10 year old”. Any advice appreciated if I’m being honest.
2 comments
Honestly while for you it may be a problem, other people may see the length of your previous relationship as a green flag. Only issue may be the baby daddy and finding a time to date cause of having to watch the kid.
Otherwise do the usual thing, take care of your appearance, smile, be friendly and flirty depending on the guy, and just relax and have fun.
Just keep in mind it’s a numbers game, while yes casual sounds like fun at first, after a while of casual where guys use you for sex you will hate it. I’m assuming that’s what you meant by casual.
Just remember guys tend to be more afraid of you than you are of them. So smile and drop a hint that you want him to talk to you, maybe ask friends if they know of any single friends to fix you up with, and hold out for a guy that’s good to you and WI be patient and understanding with the coparent situation. It’s not something everyone can handle.
I would start with you. What do you enjoy doing? How do you want to spend your time? Are there things that you have always wanted to try? Start there.
Often when you have come out of an LTR or have spent a number of years raising children, you lose track of what you enjoy. There is only so much time in a day and between work, changing diapers, and watching baseball with your partner, it’s not uncommon to drift from the things that we enjoy. I would start by getting to know how you. When you start to engage in activities that you enjoy or have always wanted to try, you will meet people naturally.
The best way to meet who is a good fit for you is by [knowing what you are looking for](https://www.rachelsimeone.com/blog/dating-criteria-why-you-need-them). The best way to know what you are looking for is to have a solid sense of who you are and what makes you happy. Good luck!