We’ve been together for almost two years. I still don’t know how much he makes. Although we never talked directly about it, I have a feeling that he doesn’t want to tell. And I think I make more than him, but not sure how far. I want to know roughly how much he makes, because I feel couples should be open to each other about their financial situations. And to be honest, I do care about this. BTW I’ve talked about my salary so he knows. But I don’t know if he will be upset if I ask. And what if I asked but he still wouldn’t share, what should I do? Any advice?
tl:dr We’ve been together for two years but I still don’t know how much my bf makes. I feel that he doesn’t want to tell but I care. What should I do?
7 comments
It’s been two years, if you plan to be together much longer you should definitely know each other’s financial circumstances. Start the conversation.
I think this really only becomes your business when there’s a reason you need to know, like if you’re planning on taking on a financial obligation together. Until that’s on the horizon it’s up to him if he wants to tell you, and it sounds like he doesn’t. If you *do* want to start working toward joint financial goals, that’s the place to start the conversation.
“Do you earn as much as I earn? I’m concerned that if you earn less, you’ll come to resent me and our relationship may fall apart or become an unhappy one.”
Just ask. If after two years, he freaks out about you asking, then that’s another strike against him.
“this is awkward but can i ask how much you’re making?” in the context of a related financial discussion
It’s up to him if he wants to share that.. just cause you shared yours doesn’t change that
Until you guys are married or combining your finances somehow, it’s none of your business. I’m not sure why you even feel the need to know? I’ve never ever asked any guy I’ve ever been in a relationship with how much money he makes.