This post is going to be long but I’ll try to organize as best as possible.
I have no clue how to make friends, since my current friend group is all introverts who don’t have many friends in general, and would prefer to stay in and not do anything. I’m also an introvert but I’m looking for more extroverted friends, yet I find it super difficult. Here are some things I’ve tried and why I find them difficult or why they don’t work for me.
> Join clubs for your interests/hobbies
I need to vibe with someone and enjoy their personality to like them. Shared hobbies/interests don’t do much. Plus, I have a ton of hobbies that I don’t devote that much time to, and people in these clubs likely consider those hobbies more an aspect of themselves than me. For example, I’m a casual anime watcher and casual gamer, and I’m gay. But I guarantee there’s almost no one I would vibe with in the anime club, League of Legends club, or GSA. For example, in my friend group, most don’t play the same video games as me, or enjoy the same shows, but we vibe together well.
> Go to campus events
Most people at these events already come with friends, and they aren’t quite interested in meeting new people.
> Go to parties
I’m not a party person. I’m more of a hang out and talk about shit/get drunk with friends in dorm/casually play board games/get food with friends type of person, most of which I can do with my low-energy introverted friends.
> Have your friends introduce you to their friends
Most of my friends lack a lot of friends too because they’re way more introverted than me. And how do you even ask an acquaintance a question like that. “Hey I know we don’t talk much but can you introduce me to your friends?”
> Talk to people in your class
I’m in computer science. Most people in my class don’t talk to each other, and most people are introverted or are socially inept (not to be rude and not to generalize but I’m talking completely from experience…I hear a lot of offensive and cringy things). I talked to some people in my gen eds but they’re at best acquaintances, which leads me to my other concern, which is how to get closer with acquaintances.
I have no clue how to become closer friends with them such that they introduce me to their friends, or that they invite me to things. There are times where I have to initiate, and invite them first, and usually they’d oblige, come, have a good time, and that’s that. No messaging afterwards unless I initiate first.
And for all of these things, in general, it’s pretty weird, because I overhear a lot of conversations between friends or friend groups and I think “yeah these are people I’d vibe with, these are people I’d be in a friend group with” but you can’t just insert yourself among a bunch of strangers. That’s awkward.
*****
I just want to graduate without regrets and having met a lot of new people but it’s hard when people all around have their pre-established groups and cliques that are difficult to break into.