Another post on here got me thinking. I have seen a slight pattern in some men not showing ANY affection to their partners at all and yet professing to love them.
Could this be a trauma response? Fear of intimacy? Or just, you’re convenient when I want you but I don’t want you all that often?
(Purely academic question, naturally)
12 comments
People show affection in different ways.
Women usually react very poorly when affection is given freely
It’s safer to hold back
When my wife and I were starting out she didn’t want the PDAs. She would tell me to grow up, now after being together for awhile she has started to pout and want more snuggle time.
Gender differences.
Like it or not but males are treated immensly different from females especially when it comes to what behaviour is accepted and which is not.
Showing affection is one of those things. Guys go throughout their lives still showing affection to others but in completely different ways. (However subtle, weird or backwards they may get its still there.) (Yes, making fun of eachother within certain boundaries is in fact us showing affection.)
Women and men are just brought up to be different in that regard. Mens affection is often just very quiet, subtle and only comes out when its appropriate (from a guys pov) to do so.
i gotta admit, i’ve never really witnessed this. the couples i know are always hugging, holding hands, giving little pecks, complimenting each other, etc….we’re all in our 40s and have known each other since the 90s, maybe it’s just a different time now?
21 years of marriage this month and we still love holding hands. specifically, we link our little fingers, that’s kind of our thing. walking around the grocery store, the park, or whatever…we love holding hands, i never get tired of feeling those little hand squeezes, it makes my heart flutter 🙂
we also kiss and hug and all that every day, too. we’re both affectionate.
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eh, people are all different. not everyone feels the same about physical affection. there are so many factors involved, and that’s ok.
diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks. there’s no wrong way to eat a Reese’s! 🙂
Maybe you just don’t see the way he expresses affection. Could just be a miscommunication
“Another post on here got me thinking. I have seen a slight pattern in some men not showing ANY affection to their partners at all and yet professing to love them.”
What post are you talking about?
Unfortunately, some of us are unwired emotionally, whether its through society or our upbringing. Personally, I’ve discovered that I need to show more positive affection to my SO, it will let her know easier how I truly feel about her.
As far as physical affection, that was only withdrawn when she withdrew it from me. Started slowly caring about her less when that happened. Touch I likely miss a lot more than she does (she very likely misses talking more).
Guess I’m not quite the type of guy you want to ask since I certainly don’t profess to love her anymore.
could be a lot of things, but considering the 40% average single motherhood rate(and up to 75% in black communities) and the epidemic of not having any father figures, therefore not having any way to observe how affection should be shown in a relationship, I’d say the most likely cause would be lack of *game*, literally a skill issue. Also, the trend of women dumping good guys as soon as the guy opens up emotionally “because I already have a pussy and don’t need another” can also be a major factor.
Well, when the dead bedroom sets in. Ya just don’t care anymore.
I don’t know. I’m very Feely and affectionate. I guess some people are just closed off