What does a typical visit to your grandparents’ place look like?

31 comments

1. A lot of headstones.

2. What do you mean “look like”?

3. Unfortunately all of my grandparents died when I was relatively young, or were too far away (in Europe) and died before I could visit them. I remember going to my grandma’s house and eating Graham crackers with milk, and having Oreos, etc. She had an apple tree in the backyard so we’d climb it and pick apples or swing on the swingset. It was always a good time at grandma’s house.

4. The cemetery.

   But before that, I had one stereotypical set of grandparents that were warm, loving, and always had treats/good food available. The other set was dominated by a snooty, arrogant, and unkind grandmother and a smart but tired grandfather who spent most of his life in the military.

5. When my grandmother was still alive I would go in and most likely find her watching baseball. I’d give her a big hug and we would sit there for a bit. I ask her if she wanted me to her her anything to eat or drink. If she wanted anything I would go make it and grab a step stool. I would clean anything, ceiling fans, oven, lights, basically everything. I never even asked, because she would always tell me not to do it. I’d bring her what she asked for, typically just wanted an afternoon beer. Lol!

   We would chat about random things and I asked her about her childhood. Anything that she could remember. She lived to be almost 100, so she had some interesting stories.

6. Mostly just sitting and talking. It is awkward because we aren’t close. It is usually a one hour deal every few years with my grandma.

   When we see my husband’s grandparents it is about the same for the one grandma. The other grandma does try to play with my kids though which is nice.

7. They’re all dead but usually it was a lot of smoke in the air in the living room and my grandmother screaming at my grandfather because he was deaf.

   It was usually just me and my parents, because my aunts and uncles refused to take their kids over there due to the indoor smoking.

   I lived with my other grandparents so there wasn’t really any “visiting”.

8. Euchre. Lots and lots and lots of Euchre.

9. I see my grandparents multiple times per week, and we usually spend a few hours drinking coffee and talking. Sometimes, my Mamaw will bake a cobbler, and we’ll play board games. I always have a nice time. 🙂

10. Dad’s parents: 12 hour drive, so we would stay a week. Grandma: little white haired lady who didn’t drive, and walked everywhere (small town) who baked cookies and pastries. Would take us to the park, or to visit her sisters who lived a street or two away, who also baked and doted on little kids. Grandpa: gruff man who drove an enormous car (1965 Oldsmobile Delta 88). Would take us duck hunting or fishing or out to his hundred acres of forest to target practice or run around. Taught us “pull my finger”.
    Mom’s parents: lived a half hour away so it was day trips. Would visit cousins who lived 2 streets down. Would spend time on the back porch listening to Cubs games with Grandpa, practicing archery in back yard, being hooligans. Grandpa would hand us money and say “here’s a quarter: Go play on the toll road” when he had enough of us. Grandma would take us shopping and to lunch (after she learned to drive). We had to BEHAVE with Grandma; She wasn’t a lot of fun- never fond of kids. She lived until I was 40 and was much more fun as an adult. Told us all the family stories and what life was like before WWII.

11. All of my grandparents have passed away, but thinking about this gave me some good memories this morning. Thanks for that OP!.

    My grandmother on my father’s side died just a few days after my 9th birthday. I always remember how much she laughed and smiled every time I saw her. She seemed to really enjoy having kids around. Just about every memory of her I have revolves around her cooking. She was always baking something.

    My grandfather on my father’s side died about 6 months after she did. I didn’t get to know him very much, I wasn’t even 10 yet. He was kind of old school in that he didn’t have much to do with kids until they were 12 or 13 or so. I do remember he taught me to play poker though!

    Visiting them was kinda like visiting the past. They lived deep back in the Appalachian mountains. No TV, no phones, etc etc. I was a lot of talking, playing cards, playing music, etc etc. Good times.

    My grandfather on my mother’s side who died when I was 24 loved cars. We mostly hung out and bonded around cars. Rather it was helping someone who’s cars broke down and needed to get fixed or restoring an old classic. That man just loved to be turning a wrench. He also loved to chat and tell stories.

    As a kid I used to hate how on Saturdays when we would be hanging out I had to get up at the crack of dawn and hang out with him and his buddies at Dairy Queen starting at like 6am. But I’d give anything to do that just one more time.

    My grandmother on mothers side passed away last December. The best way I can describe her is that she was a living contradiction. To her family and friends she was kind, warm and loving. But to everyone else she was pretty mean and bitter. Honestly I think it was because she was always in so much pain emotionally, but that is also why family was so important to her.

    She was raised by her grandparents because her mother died a few days after she was born and her father literally went Tywin Lanister on her and blamed her for killing her mother. She also basically outlived everyone in her family aside from her 3 kids and me. She outlived all of her childhood friends and work friends too. In most cases by 2 decades or so. It’s got to be lonely.

    When she was younger he used to love “yard selling”. For those that don’t know, that means getting up early on Saturday to beat all the other old people to yard sales so they don’t beat you to the good junk. Oddly enough though, this is where my love of both video games and computers came from. I used to spend my allowance (and she bought me a lot of stuff too) on old video game consoles and computers.

12. I put flowers on their graves

13. Placing flowers on a grave.

14. They’re all dead, but when they were alive it was like taking a time machine back to 1957- no earlier, no later.

    They lived in an old house built before the turn of the century. All the furniture and appliances were from around then, except the color TV, which was still encased in heavy wood paneling. There was no air conditioning.

    Compounding this, they lived close to downtown in a rural town, and a lot of the buildings around them were of similar age. My grandfather had a detached garage for his Cadillac (which handled like a boat) and a tool shed. Everytime I saw him, he was sitting in his red leather recliner, a glass of dry gin in his hands.

    They had no cassette or CD player, even into the 2000s. All vinyl records, all were stuff like Glenn Miller or Frank Sinatra. The Chipmunk’s Christmas Album was the exception.

    My grandfather, like many others of his age, served in WWII and had strong memories. He still had his overcoat and some souvenirs. He also had a photo album which included pictures from Italy, France, and a concentration camp he responded to.

    As I (and themselves) got older, each visit revolved around some sort of maintenance or repair- peeling paint, water softener, etc. We got “Dutch Lunch” on Sundays for dinner- cheese, pickled baloney, pretzels, chips, etc.

15. Dad’s mom died many years ago, dad’s dad died recently, dad’s Dad’s second wife died a little bit before that, mom’s dad died a few years ago, mom’s mom is still hanging on down in Florida but I haven’t seen her in like 20 years, mom’s biological mom lives on the entire other side of the country and I’ve met her about four times in my life, nobody knows my mom’s biological dad.

    So really a trip to my grandparents hasn’t been a thing for a long time.

16. Grandparents would always leave the door unlocked if we were coming so we’d just walk in. Usually they’d put some cheese and crackers on the table and offer us a drink of whatever they had in their little bar cart. We’d chat and eat snacks, then grandma would have had something cooking, so she’d bring it over and we’d eat dinner together usually getting a bit drunk lol

    Afterwards we’d have dessert, sit in the living room and talk, grandma would show me all her plants and how her garden was doing if it was summer. My brothers and I would mess around on their piano. Usually by then someone was tired so we’d head home with goodie bags of leftovers because my grandparents refused to keep them. Good times 🙂

17. Let’s see…

    Maternal grandmother lived in Canada, an 8 hour drive away. She died when I was two so I don’t remember what that was like, but there are pictures of us sitting together.

    Paternal grandparents lived a 5 hour drive away, so we’d pack up the car with our suitcases and snacks and off we’d go for a few days. It was a once a year thing and we weren’t close. The house was big and old and definitely felt like a grandma house with stuff you’re supposed to look at and not touch. My grandfather would sit in his comfy chair and watch golf with the sound off. Aunt commented that it was like watching grass grow, lol.

    My kids? One grandma would come visit and love on them, read to them and cuddle and play. The remaining grandparent takes them for sleepovers at her house and they play, do crafts and have fun together.

18. My grandma makes a lot of food and forces you to eat it.

    Then they’ll update you with the status of every cousin. I have like over 30, I think, so this takes awhile.

19. I only have one surviving grandparent my grandpa on my dads side is 95. He lives alone so I stop by a lot to check on him and he likes to catch and catch up. Sometimes we go fishing or for walks together. We went hunting together last year

20. It’s a long time ago now but my Massachusetts gram—

    Probably picking beans from her garden and sitting on the back porch with her snapping them. Making a New England apple pie from scratch or maybe toll house cookies. I can still smell the the vanilla when you pour it into the butter and sugar.

    We might she’d take me through the woods and look around at stuff like antlions, jack in the pulpits, and the sassafras. Maybe bring a few roots back and make some root beer.

21. Maternal side – they live in a nice little house about 5 miles outside of an old town in the middle of a self-described rural area. It’s quiet. Lotta bike riding, hiking, target shooting, star gazing. They always had so many errands though – like they both had 3 jobs so there was never big something going on. Loved spending time there, growing up.

    Paternal side – mostly cigarette smoke and complaints about back pain. That house was kind of frozen in time. The time was July 1985. They lived in a typical house in a suburban DC/Baltimore community.

22. I bring her lunch and we just talk while my kids play. I try to ask her about her life without being too intrusive about it because she’s ninety and I know she won’t be around forever. She’s the coolest; I love hanging out with her.

23. Usually a few sad people and I always need to grab a map so I can locate their gravesites

    Before they had all passed away they were all awesome!

    My dads parents were total 50s parents and my grandpa loved using the word swell. I fondly remember playing football and baseball in their back yard. They were big with their church congregation (my grandpa was born in the city where they died, Dayton, OH) so they literally went every Sunday possibly between the mid 1920s up to the early 2000s. My grandpa was a drafter for the air force and then worked in the private industry so anytime we would go to Wright Patterson Air Force Museum my grandpa would point out planes that we had worked on. That side of my family came to Dayton in the first group of non-native settlers to found the city in the 1800s.

    My moms parents were originally from Kentucky but moved to the Dayton area for work. My maternal grandpa was a master dad joke teller. I have fond memories staying over at their house and watching old cartoons until way to late. They had this great tree in their backyard for climbing that I probably fell out of like 100 times lol. My grandpa on my moms side was a drill sergeant during the Korean War out in the PNW but didn’t really like yelling at people (his words) and eventually was discharged and hitchhiked across the country (and didn’t get murdered!).

    All my grandparents loved fishing so we would go camping and fishing a lot when I was growing up. For the holidays we would all get together and play Euchre or Bid 500 Rummy (variant of Euchre). Both my grandmothers had crushes on Dick Clark so we would always watch his NYE broadcast while the rest of my family would joke about ménage a tois (I didn’t get this at the time)

    Both of grandmothers were the most nurturing people on the planet, AFAICT. Anytime I had a problem talking with them would fix it as a kid.

    We would always take one trip to Kings Island in the summer and that was the height of fun. My grandma wouldn’t go on any rides but she loved watching everyone else he one demand was always to go watch their little shitty dinner theatre performance which was always weirdly endearing.

    Basically I love and miss my grandparents. Thanks for the question, I haven’t thought about all the good times we used to have in a while! I’m sad that they are gone but glad I got to spend the time they had with them.

24. My grandmother never “had a place” while I knew her. She was always living with different relatives (including my immediate family).

25. As a kid, it was a once-a-year obligation where we had to make polite conversation, eat a decent meal or two, and count down the time until we could leave. They all passed by the time I was in my teens. (My maternal grandmother died way before I was born)

    For my kids, it’s much different. They see my mom every week (my dad passed before they were born) and she is their most favorite person who takes them to the creek and plays pretend and creates endless adventures and spoiling. Their other set of grandparents is less hands on but, crucially, takes care of the other grandkids and therefore provides the kids to play with. They also have a farm and a big pool and lots of toys and animals.

26. For me it was basically just goofing around their house with whatever was there while the adults talked.

27. Mine are all long gone at this point, but it used to mean visiting a small town in the middle of nowhere to sit in either a stuffy old house or apartment (depending on the set of grandparents) and just sitting down to chat with them. We’d go out to eat with them every day, maybe visit other nearby relatives for a bit? It wasn’t anything exciting.

    Although when I was really little, one of my grandfathers would act in local plays. I remember going to at least one of them but I was far too young to really understand it.

28. All 4 of my grandparents have passed away.

    When I was younger? It was great. Sometimes my brother and I would spend the week with my mom parents who lived on a lake. It was great. Went fishing with grandpa ,help with the garden , went on walks , ate lots of yummy food made by grandma. Went to ride go karts and stuff. It was a blast. I miss them very much.

29. When my Nanny was alive she had a small apartment that was warm and cozy. It always smelled like roasted turnips and brisket. I always look forward to seeing her and my aunt who took care of her. I miss them both very much. Nanny would play cards with us and take us to the local discount chain stores to shop. It’s funny to see how much my mom looks like her now. The older she got the more Yiddish words she would use almost like she was slowly forgetting English.

30. We go to the great grandparents house, and eat, play games, and catch up with each other.

31. I have one grandma on my dads side and one grandpa on my moms side left.

    My Grandma lives about 30 minutes away. When I go visit her it’s sitting in her living room and just visiting. She will show off whatever housework she recently had done (deck, windows, dishwasher, floors, etc.) I’m always offered something to eat or drink. She then usually vents a lot about her two remaining kids and their kids. Lots of drugs involved with her kids and one of my cousins so tons of drama going on her for. There is always someone moving in or out, sometimes because she finally had enough and kicked them out. She seems to really enjoy the visits and chance to just vent knowing I won’t go back to any of the family about what was said.

    My grandpa lives 3 houses away but is only here during the summer. His house is the happy hour house. Every day starting around 4 him and whatever neighbors stop by have happy hour. They all bring their dogs and everyone just sits around and talks for hours. Can easily have 12+ people over there on any given day, especially weekends. He likes to feed the neighborhood and usually has a big fish fry every weekend. When I go to visit during the day and not happy hour times I go in and he always greets me with “hi kid!” Then he begs me to eat because he always has too much food. I’ll find his kitten and play with it while we talk a bit. Usually ask if he needs anything done, sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn’t. He normally has a project of some kind he is working on and he tells me about it. I’ll check the cat and dogs water bowl before I leave and tell him to call me if he needs anything.