Me (24M) needs some opinion on how to go about with her (24F)

Hello, Me (24M) is crazily in love with this girl (24F) since Highschool. We dated as well in high school. It didn’t work out because where I am from, religion and caste is a pretty big thing, and there were some complications from her family side as well. But we stayed connected for a year after high school as well. Then we started talking really like old times in Covid.

She has major anxiety issues. There are some financial issues at her home. I have always been there for her, stayed up till 5 am to discuss matters with her and made sure she slept. Fast forward to march 2021. She came to my apartment where I was pursing my bachelors in. Moment build up and we kissed. She also says she loves me a lot, which i can see as well, but she doesn’t want to date me as she thinks there is no future and her anxiety kicks in every time. She also thinks I don’t understand her? (Her family issue that used to be there? Is not there anymore as her folks really like me)

So I have always been like ‘it’s okay, We can take it slow, let’s see how things pan out’ she seemed okay with that.

Fast forward to 2022, She moved to a different city to pursue a degree in Law and I am in a different city looking for a job switch. When she is in a different city, it’s like I am talking to a completely different girl. I get it she rarely gets time, studying law is pretty tough, but when we are on call we talk for like hours but her voice just feels different. (if that makes sense?) I told this to her once, she said she is all alone there and going through a lot and really felt bad about it. I realized that and said sorry to her.

Then comes in a new guy (he is really smooth with his words and a brilliant observer), she tells me she met him for the first time and they went on a great 3 hour walk in the morning. I didn’t get jealous. It was fine, we are not like dating (although everyone we know says that we are but not accepting it) but I felt it’s okay she made a friend in the new city. Few months went by she came back to our hometown and she stops talking to that guy because he did something that pissed her off. (On of her major problem is, she has a really big ego and is very sentimental) So when she goes back around 7 days ago, that guy calls her 12-13 times says he is sorry. She forgives him as she doesn’t have any friends there. Now, that guy being smooth and a brilliant observer, starts showing up at her place everyday to talk to her about a lot of stuff, his past etc. asking her questions which induces her anxiety and then started to comfort her.

Like I mentioned talking to her was really difficult and different when she is in a new city so I got updates of how her day went either at the end of the day or next morning. She went to a party where she meets a group of people who used to be her friends (or pretend that they are still her friends), they tell her that they are sorry for not inviting her, She being sentimental gets really sad and gets bad anxiety. I specifically told her to call me if something happens as I know how to talk her through it and be there for her. Then Mr. Observer comes in and starts consoling her. She says please maintain a little distance, The guy says “I know your boundaries won’t do anything.” Then when she goes to bed, he wakes up, give her a peck on her cheeks and then they kiss. She then instantly gets more anxious as she felt she might have hurt me with the kiss and started crying to that guy. “But when that smooth guy asks her did you mind that kiss? She said not really”

She tells me that this happened I was shattered, felt really bad as, if she called me about her anxiety, it wouldn’t have happened but she didn’t. Then she tells me that she feels that she is becoming complaining when she talks to me and says that I don’t put efforts anymore like i used to, I have told her a few times that’s not the case. Since then we haven’t talked properly, I don’t even feel like saying anything, even though I have cried a few times since then and want to talk to her in person or over call because I really don’t like communication over text. But I can’t call her as I am in my hometown with my parents. So it gets complicated to talk over call.

My birthday is in a few days and she told me before leaving that she would love for me to be there with her, as money is really tight she can’t fly back (It’s true and not an excuse from her end) I really want to go and surprise her and then talk to her about everything that happened and make her understand that there are no less efforts and everything but I also feel really bad about that guys incident, not sure what to do as I am also having a lot of weird thoughts.

TLDR: I love this girl since high school, Not really dating right now. she went to different city, a smooth guy tries something smooth I got hurt, want to talk to her in person. Should I go to that city? I am doing a lot of overthinking about worst case scenarios.