How well do dating apps work for you?

32 comments

1. Yes, for every 1 woman there are 6 men on dating apps. You’re gonna have to be pretty standout-ish if you want to find someone good. So get your best pictures, write a good bio, and let the fishing begin. Lol

2. I had great luck. Went in a few solid dates. Then met my wife 5 years ago, married for 2 years.

3. I used them for two years or so, paid and unpaid.

   In all that time I just got one response and she ghosted me after I said yes to “do you want to have kids”.

4. dating apps are the digital equivalent of looking for meaningful relationships at a local hoodie bar at 1:45 am on a tuesday in january

5. On a scale of 1-10, I’d give it a 3.

   I started taking them a bit more seriously over the last 6 months and have been 7-8 dates. It can be very demoralizing

   – More than 50% look better in pics (prom-level makeup, filters, angles, etc.)
   – They talk about themselves the whole time, but it still feels like I do all the talking
   – The ones who weren’t into me (I’ve been told I look better than in my pics btw) become outright rude
   – I’m now finally able to tell people, “yes I’ve met the crazy liberals in real life, it’s not just a few internet keyboard warriors”

6. Meeting somebody via a dating app is half the problem. The other (more difficult, to be honest) part is going from “OK, we met at a cafe and talked for a couple of hours” to “OK, we like each other enough to consider living together and maybe even having a legally recognized relationship”. Especially when both of you already have jobs, hobbies and non-overlapping social circles.

7. Pretty well, fairly average guy, been off and on them since around 2016. Probably could have had more serious relationships if my head was in the right place but ran away from a few good ones. Plenty of good dates and met some really nice women. Kinda doing my own thing and really aren’t in a place to date, but once I sort myself out, I’ll probably be back on them in a few months

8. Not well at all. I had better luck on Reddit r4r.

9. They worked well for me, honestly way better than I expected. I am not sure what I did right, or if my experience was even above average. I’m a moderately attractive dad-bodded guy, so I doubt they were based solely my looks.

   I did find that the free trials of premium versions resulted in more matches, so I payed for tinder and bumble for about six months. I made it clear in my bio that I was looking for casual dating and nothing serious. I was funny and friendly on chat, and if the first convo went well I would ask if they wanted to meet in person sometime in the next week.

   I took advantage of unlimited swiping, but then I’d filter through matches based on whether or not I actually found their bio interesting and had stuff in common. Those would be the women I’d put effort into messaging and going on dates with.

10. If I want to feel depressed dating apps are great, my wish to just stop living quickly returns. Without dating apps I feel much much better.

11. In a moderately-sized city (~1mil people) I didn’t have any issues landing at least two dates on any given weekend that I was trying to go out, and I hit my upper limit of 4 fairly frequently.

    Now that I live in small town USA, though? Fuck man, forget about it. It can take up to a month for me to land *one* date across three different apps…. and it’s still 50/50 on whether or not she actually shows up. Most of the time I just don’t bother anymore, I use chat apps to talk to gals locally and then jump on the chance when it shows up.

    Or y’know…. go out in person. If I’m actually *really* trying to get laid that’s my go-to.

12. Never did successfully use technology to set a date. Never really believed in it or tried tho. Married now.

    It’s hard to make a values statement I can latch onto and run with when action as an introduction is not an option. Apps remove the ability to take actions as an introduction. For example, I have always volunteered with battered young men. If I meet a woman through that channel, we already have proof positive aligned values affinities. We are showing our valies through what we are sacrificing our comfort for.

13. Well after hundreds of dates I met one I m super into. I think she’s the one. I lucked out.

14. Constant ghosting and walking on egg shells. The attitude of so many women is that they’re better than you.

15. I match about one person every week or two. Maybe less. Today matched with two actually.

    Maybe these two go somewhere, maybe not. I’m probably going on one or two dates a month.

    Physically I’m a little over 6’2″ and in very good shape (biking, running, lifting, hiking, rock climbing, backpacking).

    Financially I make over 6 figures and own a house. The profile doesn’t mention that and I don’t tell them about my income.

    Emotionally I’m in a good spot.

    Socially maybe a bit awkward but who isn’t? I can make friends pretty well so is not like I don’t understand humans. Been told I’m funny.

    They say the top 20% of dudes get all the ladies which makes me think I’m probably somewhere around the 81st percentile based on getting dates but not like a shitload. I do have to work at it.

16. Awful. Dating apps are one of the worst things the internet has ever produced

17. The experience goes up exponentially with looks and picture quality. I was 40lbs overweight, got maybe a match a month, not even a date. At the same time I was on a fitness journey. Gym, running full marathons, better diet. A couple running friends are pro photographers who gave me great shoots for free. Now I get a match per session of swiping. Or like 1 match a day if I do it every day. With effort and luck I can set up 3 dates a weekend sometimes. It just gets so much easier, even enjoyable, the better shape you are.

18. Not at all

19. I’m 5’5 and sporting the Statham haircut at 26, I’ll let you guess.

    Additional info: I’m a student starting a PhD next year, so NOT rich AT ALL.

20. I’m hideous so not at all

21. Not at all. The uncomfortable reality is that I almost never get matches, and on the extremely rare occasions that Tinder throws me a pity match (the whole “pick one of these 4 cards” thing) it’s usually someone significantly larger than me (which is their business–just not for me). I’m not sure if it’s shit photos, a stinky personality in my bio, a face uglier than I thought, or being a non-white guy in the Midwest (doubt this one tbh but you have to wonder).

    Unfortunately my upbringing also left me reserved and non-assertive, so in the <6 occasions I’ve gotten a match and they replied to me, we talked for a little while while they (presumably) waited for me to ask them out, which I never did. I struggle with the idea of asking out someone I don’t even know, and I despise the idea of always being the initiator (in business as well as pleasure).

22. Match.com worked well, married for many years now. Thankfully before tinder and bumble. I don’t think I could hack it on those

23. Going fine, I suppose. I have a few matches and talking to them.

    I am not going to be hard on myself, but I find talking over an app to be significantly difficult. Especially since I am pretty reserved when meeting people.

    At least with in person, I can tell what kind of person they may be by their actions, their vocal tone, their attitude, etc. In order for me to be at my best socially, I feel as if all of that has been taken away.

    I feel like it makes things so much harder

24. I gave up on dating for the past 3 years. Even when I decide to get back in it, I’ll do it the old school way. Very seldom you find a good quality s/o over dating apps. Happens but very rarely

25. Worked well for me! I’m married to my last date on plenty of fish! Though I did have a lot of sifting to do. I found a great woman that wanted to build a family with me as a team. We became best friends and lovers! We now have a beautiful baby girl! I’d say dating apps worked out in the long run

26. I used a dating app and now we just celebrated our 5th year of marriage and have a 14 month old.

27. They don’t work at all for me.

28. Im in shape and I dress well. I had hardly any luck until I got really good photos in my profile. I Have a girl friend now so id say they work

29. I get a lot of matches but the convos always go nowhere, or I get ghosted. So not good.

30. Not very well. Used them on and off for nine years, and while they helped me get more dates than before, it wasn’t a huge increase, and it did not lead to anyone I’d call a partner. The experience got worse each year – fewer matches, fewer dates, worse conversations – despite utilizing every tip I could pick up on how to create a better profile. They’re not a solution for everyone.

31. i match with women on a fairly regular basis, but most of the time they don’t respond. i’ve had more luck DMing women on instagram, but even then i’m not seeing the results i want to see.

32. Fucking a woodchipper would be more productive