I have improved so much from just being a complete mute. Now while I’m trying to make my way as an adult people are so fucking awful to me just for not talking to them as much as they would like.
I literally say good morning hi how are you have a good day have a good one and I help people with their shit at work but people like especially narcs for some reason sense that I struggle and literally make it worse for me on purpose.
Like this lady at the office at work gives the nastiest smirk every time I talk. I have no idea why. I am just speaking normally and trying my best to help out and she is a total karen on her phone with other colleagues telling them I don’t know how to do things I’m literally not even responsible for.
I have no idea what to do. I don’t exactly want to get better at socializing to accomodate people like this… because, well, look at their true colors! Why would I want to talk to people like that???
13 comments
Not everyone you work with will be pleasant. I always find that each job I have has one person like that. But the good part about work is that you don’t need to have a personal relationship with Karen, just a cordial and professional one. Let her talk smack, she probably talks smack about everyone and everyone knows about it but they just tolerates it. Just let your good work represent yourself and others should see through her BS.
I’m proud of you for taking risks and putting yourself out there though!
Ok
Some people are like that unfortunately. Keep it up you find the most wonderful people out there. I have also trouble speaking to others it is hard hard work but it does pay off a lot. I find at the workplace people in general are just unpleasant and unhappy and are out to get you.
Keep it up! Don’t do it for other people but for yourself. Each time you speak you’ll be building confidence in yourself. I used to be semi-mute too unless I knew the person intimately, but now I can hold conversations 1:1 and even started speaking up a bit in group settings. Unfortunately I think coming from being mute to speaking you’ll feel like you’re speaking so much more (because you’re comparing the present to your past self), but some people will comment on how quiet you are or whatever. Most people aren’t trying to be mean or tear you down and the more you speak the more likely you’ll run into a-holes AND really nice people that you’ll connect with and form bonds with. I guess this is just a really long way of saying don’t let the mean people stop you from meeting the nice people.
You need to learn that you’re the ruler of your world, if she’s giving you a nasty smirk it’s nothing you’re doing. It’s because she’s nasty. It’s the same as if someone acts weird around you, they’re just weird. If someone talks bad about you behind your back, you’re not a bad person that person is a gossiper. If you ever hear someone talking bad about their friend to you, they talk bad about you to their friend. And vice versa with all their friends. This girl at the office probably gives everyone she’s not close with a nasty smirk, what makes you think it’s because she senses you struggling and not just her being a nasty person?
I used to think peoples actions had something to do with me, but my point is the way people act in relation to you says more about their character than yours. Learn to categorize people in a spot in your head that you don’t care what that person has to say, or think about you. unless they’re in your face you won’t even look at them and say good morning, just walk past them and go about your day. People who do not treat you RIGHT and with RESPECT have NO PLACE in your life. Merely looking in their direction and trying to read their face as you walk past invites them. Don’t. Look in the mirror and fix your hair. Do U
The best revenge is a good life.
Just smile and do your thing. Nasty people are just projecting the ugly inside them. Just being polite, courteous, and always in a good mood will eat them up inside and the real homies will gravitates toward you. Win win
Real question: can you help me understand why someone, such as you, would choose to be mute?
If this is happening at work then you should report it to HR immediately.
Everyone will be a mirror into your own reflection in life. That’s not to say I’m calling you a Karen! On the contrary, what people like Karen’s teach us is that there are thoughts we need to work on.
Thoughts are emotions. So when you have an emotions, there are unaware thoughts behind those emotions. I don’t say much to people either. Especially people I have a difficult time with. What helped was shadow work. Which is to say “learning your subconscious”. The darker side of ourselves that is easily brought out by every single Karen in the world, as well as those karenesk types.
It’s taken me a long time, a lot of work, and an adequate amount of healing to now find toxic people rather amusing in their nature. Those types or the B personality folk have far more going on in their minds and a far darker side to their subconscious. Just keep in my that b personality types have what they refer to as a “super concious” which dictates the show and treats them like garbage, so they need validation from others to feel good about themselves. When you don’t provide that validation, or go along with the play they have going on in their life and stick to their script, you will be ridiculed, mocked, and have your character attempted to be assassinated. They are miserable shitty directors.
Knowledge is power ✊️ hope this helps!
It’s difficult coming out of the shell and when we do new things. I have trouble as well with people who have some type of authority complex or who just don’t really like my presence. I have worked up to just being around them and tolerating it; not for them but for me so I can get more comfortable with being uncomfortable. I don’t show them my bubbly dorky side and am just serious with them the more I do it the more I am getting relaxed.
I was a mute myself and still am considered dry and dull but I am just staying positive and sticking more to those that I enjoy being around and don’t mind my awkwardness.
I’m not sure if this helps or you can relate to it but good for you on taking steps forward to becoming an adult that you want to be.
Go to HR and report the problem. This is not your fault at all and absolutely creates a hostile work environment for you. She needs to be reported and her behavior dealt with by HR. I’m sorry this is happening to you
Some people will try to make their own light brighter by blowing out others’. It’s not everyone, but those who do, you shouldn’t take personally. They do it because they’re insecure and are threatened by something about you. Take it as a compliment. Feel pity for them. Or ignore them. Or kill them with kindness if you have the energy for it. The greatest benefit of that last one, is that others will see this interaction and see you as the bigger person, and it’ll make even more obvious what a jerk the other person is.
Good for you getting out of your comfort zone and doing as much speaking as you are, by the way. Most people will never know how far you’ve come, but you do. Be proud.