I (23M) did some bad stuff to my ex gf (21F). Some stuff that for sure messed her up. I was in a bad mental place, and I threatened my own life if she (who was pregnant at the time) didn’t abort the baby. I cut things off with her a month ago, we’ve been on and off. I just really didn’t want to be with her anymore, she was rather a downer on the things that happened in the past, and so I tried to get her to break things off with me, by acting like a jerk, so she could get her power back. She didn’t, and I got fed up, so I exploded at her one night after a nice date in my car. I feel awful, I said some horrible things, and she was and still is scared of me after I did. She was crying and I dropped her stuff off at her house the next day and have gone no contact. I meant what I said, but I feel like I came off harsh. What should I do now.
TL;DR: Don’t know how to move on from this after being a bad person
3 comments
If she’s gone no contact, respect that and leave her alone. Take some time to look inside yourself and figure some shit out. You said you wanted her to find her power so you acted like a jerk, but that’s weak shit man. Where’s YOUR power in having a healthy grownup conversation with someone that given you so much of themselves? Take this time to grow and learn from the dirt you’ve been treading
Leave her alone?? And go to therapy for christs sake
There are so many places in here where your actions are completely horrible, and yet you apparently feel somewhat justified.
>I was in a bad mental place
>she was rather a downer
>I meant what I said
You feel bad because you don’t enjoy feeling like the bad guy, but you’re not actually remorseful. You have a complete and total lack of concern for her feelings or how you affect the people around you.
There’s no quick fix for this. If you want to actually work on yourself–go to therapy, read about abusive relationships, learn to stop manipulating and threatening people–that’s good. You should do that. But there is nothing anyone one Reddit can do for you.
Take some responsibility for yourself.