Me and my husband runs same business, that is the reason we spend most of the time together. Besides this we go to the same gym, we play in the same badminton court. So, we barely get personal time. My husband loves this thing but me. I feel that I have no personal life left. It is his business we are running. We go to the same gym my husband used to go before our marriage. We play badminton with his friends. And me, I left my job because of this business. I hardly get time to meet up and talk to my friends and family.
What do I do? Any suggestions?
2 comments
Does your hubby know how you feel?
What is his reaction if you make plans with friends or family?
I know Reddit in general is really big on confrontations/serious sit down conversations about issues but I feel like this is one of those things that can be resolved quite easily and you can still be subtle about it, so as to no hurt his feelings. Some suggestions:
– Mention missing “girls nights”, your family, friends etc just every now and then so that he’s aware of it. You don’t have to tell him that you feel like you’re spending too much time together, just that you’re missing your old friends too.
– Make plans with friends and family and actually follow through on them. Life is busy and with an active, involved spouse we’re often tempted to cancel on friends just to keep our married life easy and simple. But you lose your entire circle of friends over time that way. It’ll be a bit strange for you in the beginning but it’ll be worth it.
– What hobbies do/did you have? Things you’d like to do alone? Book classes for skills, join Facebook groups for like-minded individuals. See if you have the budget to maybe venture out on your personal interests.
– Let your husband know you love hanging out with him but he should also have some time alone with his friends occasionally. My own husband is a huge introvert and I’m his usual hangout buddy. I remember asking him often, “dont you want to make plans with your friends when I’m not around?”
– At the same time, please remember people are very different. If you start to rebuild your social life but your husband doesn’t, please still give him space to be himself. I think the best relationships are when both partners do not constantly feel like they’re sacrificing parts of themselves to make each other happy.
Lastly, all of this largely depends on your relationship with your husband. If he is controlling and possessive that’s a different, difficult situation. But if he’s generally a good guy and you just want a more balanced social life, it shouldn’t be too hard to do. Best of luck!