Today I realised how bad my friend cirlce is, they always keep bullying me keep making fun of me but I make fun of them and sometime’s bully them to, I thought this was all friendly banter.
They alway’s used to make comment’s on ugly I look, how I’ve never had a girlfriend, how I cannot afford to go out to party, buy an iPhone or wear expensive clothes because I come from a financially challenged middle class family.
They made fun of how I have no goals in life, how I sit all day and procrastinate and overthink, they also made fun of my anxiety issue’s.
For them getting women, having sex and partying is everything, today I was out with them when they saw two cute girl’s, they approached the girl’s and started to shoo me of like a dog to make the girl’s laugh, that really messed my confidence and made me wanna cry a little.
Later on when we were hanging out with those random starnger girl’s they pulled me up in the corner and asked me to go home, they said the girl’s thought I was really ugly and I was ruining their game.
Now deep down I know I’m not that ugly and they just say so to mess up my confidence so I don’t pose any threat to them, I’m a 6’2, pretty muscular and above average looking guy, although I have alot of pimple’s and scar’s on my face, I have really chubby cheeks and no beard those are my major insecurities.
Now I know I need to get rid of friend’s like these, but find it really hard to make new friend’s as I have social anxiety and they are the only friend’s I have, plus I want to Improve my self and prove them I’m better than them instead of just leaving them.
What should I do?
2 comments
Like you said it you have to get rid of such “friends”. While having friends who consistently trashtalk you it is really hard to build up confidence, so self-improvement or reach out to new people because of the bad picture they create in your mind. The things they tell you don’t have to be real, but after time of hearing them all the time you start to think they are.
I think the best option for you to improve yourself and prove them that you’re better than them is leaving this people and try to meet new ones who appreciate you the way you are.
Although it sounds hard you have to overcome a bit your anxiety and start talking to new people. The best way is in environments you feel good at. For example while doing a hobby or something else you like. You can join a group or do a course at something you wanna learn or you are good at to meet likeminded people. (this is what I did when I moved to a new city and I think you are in a kinda same situation with finding new friends).
Another thing which would be good for you is stay to yourself. Like when they bully you or so you could speak up and say them your opinion about this.
(but in general these people ain’t worth all this pain for you, you deserve way better)
I hope this helped a bit but I’m pretty sure you’ll find your way buddy
Leave that “friend” circle. Once you’re gone, they will find another person to abuse. And then that person leaves. And eventually they’re all alone.
Just being 6’2” on its own makes it sound like they want you gone not because you’re ugly, but because the girls might be into you instead and they don’t want that competition.
I know it’s hard to make new friends, but right now you have none. These people are not your friends. Join a club and go out of your way to introduce yourself, if you want to meet new people.
Throw the idea of showing them, that you’re better than them over the fence. Nothing good comes from retaliation or vengance. Just seek self improvement for the sake of self improvement.