I (28F) had a first date with a guy (32M) recently. It went well, and we have been texting/calling. He asked me to attend an formal event with him that’s in a couple of weeks, and I accepted. But now he told me (a few days after our first date) that he told his mom about me. He said that she’s wondering when she’ll meet me.
I’m having some anxiety now, because I don’t want to romanticize anything. Now it feels like we’ve jumped from 0 to 100 in 3 days.
So my question is: am I overreacting or is this happening *way* too fast?
30 comments
it’s both fast but also it sounds like when you get to your thrities you kinda gotta go fast, like sonic the hedgehog and start getting rings and diamonds
If I’m talking to my mom about life stuff, I’m going to mention a good first date that happened. I’m not going to call her just to tell her that, but it seems like a normal thing to say in conversation.
Bro is probably close with his mom.
If it feels too soon for you, it’s too soon. Telling his mom about you isn’t a bad thing in itself, but if you’re uncomfortable with the pace, you should let that be known.
Don’t worry to much,
I’ll (31M) talk with my mom about a girl I like, like.. the day after I meet her basically, or in the week after.
My Mother is a wise, kind woman. And I’m a stupid young man. I just want to make sure I’m doing things right. The same might be true for your date. We (men) understand very little about women, and our mom’s are just about the only women we can trust that actually has our best interests at hart.
Hope this makes sense
If it were my choice, then never. None of her business anymore.
But usually partner wants to meet parents after some time and eventually i will run out of excuses.
my mom needs to know i get bitches
This going too fast anxiety seems unneeded. He might not be trying to rush things, he might have just mentioned he went on a date and his mom asked your name and if you were nice and mentioned in passing that she’d like to meet you someday or maybe his mom asked who he was bringing to the formal event and she said she’s excited to meet you. It doesn’t need to be a big thing or that he’s rushing stuff, it could’ve been an innocent conversation.
Don’t stress, take it date by date, don’t put pressure on yourself about meeting his family at the formal event, just have fun. You being a date to an event does not mean you have to marry the guy and you’re under no obligations to keep things going if at any point you aren’t feeling it.
TLDR: Girl stop tripping, it’s all good!
Overreacting for now. Just chill and watch. If he brings up meeting his mom, tell him you’re not ready for that yet and make that the opening for the “where/what are we” and let him know what your thoughts are about the pacing of relationships.
My 21 yr old daughter is funny, so many stages. Hanging out, seeing each other non-exclusive, seeing each other exclusive, and I think a few more faux stages before “dating” and before “BF/GF” which is last.
Also many mom’s are funny about this. 32M and she got no grandkids yet so moms get excited easily. LOL
Our daughter hasn’t had a BF since her last year of HS, but we know she actively “sees guys”, but doesn’t tell us who they are. I’m sure when she finally says “I had a great date with XXXX” her mom and I will be excited and say stupid stuff like. “when do we get to meet him”. LOL
My first several girlfriends all waited several weeks or months before telling their parents about me, and that was normal. We were teenagers then.
My soon-to-be wife told her parents about me the day I asked her out. She was that excited about having a boyfriend.
I definitely think he should have consulted you first before mentioning you to his parents so you both can ease in at your own speeds of comfort.
Again, maybe he was just *that* excited about dating you. Maybe as someone else pointed out he *is* close with his mother. Either way, if you like him, assure him that you do, but that he needs to take his foot off the gas a little and talk to you first before going on about you to his family. You’re both still in a very early phase of your relationship.
Well she gets to see my mother when I think I could marry her. Then she meets my family and for a course of over a year if she’s good with everyone I’ll propose.
If she can’t get along with my family long term it’s a no go.
I wouldn’t tell my mom about a new lady until we’ve been exclusive for six months. My mom gets attached to my girlfriends, she looked at them like family. She still asks me about Liz and Shiela years later every so often.
Personally I think your guy is doing too damn much. Dude needs to pump the breaks, it’s a little extra what he’s doing. Three days after a first date you’re telling your mom? Seems odd…..plus he’s inviting you to a formal event too smh.
Him telling his mom about you isn’t weird in and of itself. Him telling you that his mom wants to meet you is weird af.
They’re not planning your wedding, they’re just talking about his life. He probably asked permission to bring a +1 or mentioned that he would be bringing someone, and she asked who it is.
I won’t tell my family about my significant others until they’re about to meet, but that’s mostly just because I rarely talk to my family.
Im (31) close with my parents, and I basically immediately tell my mom. She’s my mom.
I won’t call her, but when we meet and talk about life stuff, I will mention meeting someone. We will talk about it, and she will give me advice, which I may or may not take into consideration.
About 4 years in
Last girl I dated didn’t meet my parents til close to a year and a half after we started. I dont feel it’s their or anyone’s business who I’m dating or seeing.
I might bring up going on a date with someone to my mom early on, but I’d probably leave it at that. Then I would probably wait at least a couple months to actually introduce her to my mother.
I think that entirely depends on his relationship with his mother. I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing but if you feel uncomfortable, that’s ok too. I’d just talk to him.
This is normal. As a male who speaks with his mother about stuff that happens in my life pretty regularly, it’s normal. At this point I will likely wait a month before I tell my mother because I don’t want to have to tell her that things didn’t work after the first date. Though, when I have told my mother, she normally shows a high level of excitement. She’s likely happy that he’s happy and wants to be supportive, and if that’s meeting the person who made her some happy, that’s not out of the ordinary. This is of course from my own experience
I told my mom the day after I met my now wife.
Wish my mom was still around to pry at me about girls.
My mom will hear her name long before they meet.
My mom knew after the first date but that’s cause it turns out the girl I was on a date with was a former teammates sister I never knew about and her mom and my mom were friends when we still played. It was too funny of a coincidence I had to share with her.
Sounds kinda fast to me, but people are different.
Something like this happened to me too, I met this guy and we exchanged number’s after talking for a couple weeks he was very persistent on going out. At the time I didn’t know even if I liked the guy. We texted here and there and I was not really feeling him because he was kind of being very persistent. He then asked me on a date, I was thinking okay maybe I judged him too quickly, I should be open minded and maybe go on this date. When we were on the date he mentioned he told his mother about me and that he was meeting me up for a date which his mother let him use her car. He also said his mom was like “I hope she’s the one”. I’m only 24yrs and his 28yrs I wasn’t looking for anything serious, I went on the date thinking it was casual and he was over here planning a life with me. I got the ick and honestly I got weird vibes from there. I understand that he was close to his mother but I mean we were not in a relationship, it was literally the “first date” that took place at 1:00pm at some cheap restaurant. I personally did not consider it a date let alone something to brag to your mother. We stopped talking right after, do I regret it ? No! I think I made the right decision for me.
Mother is probably fine. Mailman would be taking it too far
On our fifth wedding anniversary
Is the formal event family related? If so mom will be told about you.
Im usually pretty slow on sharing with family but if your coming to something close family will already know about you
My mom thinks I am gay only cause I hangout with women more than I do with men
Like it’s not my fault my introverted ass feels more comfortable hanging out with women than with men