Im coming to Miami to celebrate a friends birthday this weekend. Every time I talk to him about it he always talks about how many hot girls and the awesome Airbnb that he rented is. I’ve been to that airbnb before with him last year so I have an idea of how shit’s gonna go down more or less. He told me today that last time he was trying to have sex with someone and they said no because he didnt have a condom and that this year he is going to bring a lot of condoms.
To me, him telling me this made me feel like the pressure is on. That I need to be able to seduce a girl, get her into bed, and make her scream in order for the night/weekend to be a success and for me to feel worthy of being his friend or at least worthy for me to be seen as equal to him. Im not confident in my ability to seduce women at all. I have gotten rejected a shit ton of times, and never got a date this year. Furthermore, if I did manage to get lucky, I am afraid of being shamed or laughed at the second the girl knew that I have no fucking clue of what im doing.
I told one of my other friends about my insecurity with starting to have sex and he kept telling me to watch videos of how to eat a girl out and that I should just go for it. But even then, I dont feel comfortable because how the fuck am I supposed to feel confident without proper practice?
I want to make sure that I can trust the woman I am with that she wont shame me or feel like she is doing me a favor by having sex with me. I want her to be excited about it and be happy to teach me the ropes. I don’t want to have sex with someone that I feel might shame me and I don’t think that im gonna find that person in a single night. I now feel nervous as hell to go to this party because it feels like he is making the goal of the party the sex and now I feel like if I refuse to have sex or that if I do and fail, that he will look down on me. I’ve never been in a situation like this or had a friend like him before in my life. How can I take the pressure off myself?
2 comments
I don’t understand how his wanting to have sex puts pressure on you. All you have to do is not interfere with his pursuits, and maybe keep a woman or two engaged in conversation while he tries to seduce someone. You could be the guy that tells people it’s his birthday, that plays better than him announcing it to women himself.
Use the opportunity to talk and be comfortable and at ease. This is much more attractive to women than feeling like you have to get it done. They will signal you when it is going right. You have the right approach. It is not a contest