I’m gonna start with the fact that I (19f) know weed isn’t any worse than tobacco, I don’t have anything against it, and I also enjoy smoking it on occasion.
I’m just really put off by the fact that my partner (21nb) smokes weed. I don’t know why it makes me so uncomfortable, it just does and I haven’t been able to shake that discomfort.
It lead to the two of us getting in an argument a few days ago, which luckily we managed to resolve calmly.
I’m a hypocrite in a sense, since the very same day I got drunk off of month old box wine, which is definitely more dangerous than smoking weed. I really wish I knew how to deal with this anxiety of mine.
Tl:dr partner smokes weed, it makes me uncomfortable for no reason, i feel like a dumbass. How do i get over it?
5 comments
Have you sought therapy for anxiety? An online support group? A workbook? Or even tried to get to the root of what makes you uncomfortable specifically?
To answer your question in the most concise way possible:
You don’t like to be around people who smoke pot.
But why argue? You are both completely right: you can not be cool with someone you’re with smoking pot, and your partner can want to smoke pot. If neither of you can make space from your choices, break up.
>How do i get over it?
If it matters that much to you then therapy and/ore self reflection is the only real answer.
One option since you do smoke is to smoke with him and do fun things. It might help.
My (27F) boyfriend (29M) doesn’t smoke weed or like it, but I smoke it and have since I was around 16. Though he still occasionally gives me grief, I’m not willing to stop smoking (I fully intend to stop when we are married and trying for a baby and will probably just smoke socially after the kids are older). We’re in love and he’s decided just to get over the smoking issue. We’re likely getting engaged in the next few months and I’m so excited!
As long as his smoking isn’t negatively impacting his work or becoming a focus of his life where that’s all he wants to do all day, I say just kindly ask he smokes outside then brushes his teeth if he wants to kiss or sit next to you after and you’re good to go. Let the man smoke! If you can’t deal with it and he’s unwilling to stop, break up with him