What makes a guy mysterious and is it a positive thing?

13 comments

1. Something so interesting yet hidden and closed can be alluring. Something to get close too and sse whats inside.

2. Paying attention, knowing when and when not to speak. Confidence and not talking too much about yourself.

3. it’s not in my nature to be mysterious but I can’t talk about it and I can’t talk about why.

4. Mysterious, Stoic, Apathetic, “soo calm”, I’ve been called it all. I tend to mind my business when out in public, and I’m beginning to think that’s to my detriment social wise.

5. I need to know, tbh. I wanna be mysterious. Like Batman.

6. It’s that James Bond affect. No one really knows you too well. They can’t figure you out you because don’t wear your emotions on your sleeve . it’s hard for people to manipulate you but that’s also intriguing to people. Some people are complex puzzles that can be a powerful social tool.

7. A lot of mysterious people just have really well suppressed social anxiety. I know because I was one of them. I was cool and mysterious until I got older and needed to actually socialize. I eventually realized my mysterious aura was just a convenient way to be rewarded for running away from my fears of socializing. Why would I bother confronting my social fears when everyone was complimenting me for not being social?

   That’s not to say it’s not attractive though. The hottest woman I’ve ever known clearly had a fear of speaking, yet she didn’t shy away from eye contact and communicating everything with her eyes. She would speak very softly with the fewest words possible, but then back it up with eyes like a force of nature. That was really hot to me.

8. > I just mind my own business and keep to myself a lot.

   There ya go, they find you a bit withdrawn and are being polite about it.

9. If you’re minding your own business and people are going out of their way to say that to you they are giving you subtle hints that you are not appropriately engaged in the environment.

   Be very careful and aware of what they’re saying. If you are authentically getting the stuff out of the blue it is not a good thing.

   Because if people are saying you are “mysterious” eventually people will associate you with deception because they don’t know who you are and therefore they won’t be able to trust you.

   They might not be complementing you my bro, you can politely ask them why they made that statement.

   Collect their data and decide what you want to do next.

   Being mysterious is fine if you wanna capture the attention of some person but at some point you have to be available and present and willing to communicate to get to know them. The mystery element is only supposed to be a temporary thing to pull a person in your direction

10. Means you’re attractive, good for you bro!

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    A “mysterious” unattractive person is just called “creepy” instead lol

11. I will be totally honest, because I used to get called that. I think it came down to being attractive (in my youth) and prominent, but confident and quiet. I think being attractive and in a few high-visibility roles kind of made me come up in women’s conversations, but I was a really shy and quiet guy back then, so nobody but my close friends really knew anything personal about me. I also wasn’t overtly flirty/sexual/whatever with women, so there may have been a “he loves me/he loves me not?” sort of effect.

    Anyway to be honest, I wouldn’t advise going for the whole mysterious angle. If you’re up front, unshy, fun and interesting, you’ll get a better response from (frankly) more stable women than by leaning into a niche archetype and relying on those who can be gamed into infatuation to pursue you.

12. Usually a cape

13. Well, if you don’t talk much around certain people then that can make them feel a bit uneasy psychologically and they’ll likely feel inclined to fill in the void in a social setting due to being uncomfortable. Some people often don’t like “uncomfortable silence” when in the presence of others. Since they can’t really put a finger on you and people often feel a need to know how/where they stand with people they see often, they tend to make wild assumptions or projections about you that could very well be entirely wrong. Since you may be coming off as a bit reserved (not in a bad way) that can leave room for interpretation in their mind about you and who you are.

    I’ve been told the same my whole life and initially it was exhausting having to tell people that I’m not what they initially thought, but now I’m just like “meh whatever” and just do me (whatever that means).