So I have this friend we been friend for 2 years. So a couple months ago, we got drunk and I asked her to kiss me. She declined. It hurt a little but It was just in the heat of the moment so I didn’t make a big deal out of it. When we talked about it she said:
”I dont want to give you the wrong idea, I like our friendship the way it is. ”
Again I was like fine by me let’s forget about this event. We stopped talking for a minute. But we start talking a couple weeks ago. She brought the event up again. And said:
“I always knew you had a crush on me”
I was surprised and told her No i never had. But she insisted that for those 2 years she had that impression. I firmly told her no. Im sorry that I gave her that impression, That time I try to kiss her wasnt that serious lets just forget about it. She was like okay. I thought we was going to move on. But Oh Boy.
She keep bringing it up every time we see each other. At first I was like nooo. But now its getting annoying. Its like she want me to be in love with her. You told me you don’t want to give me the wrong idea but can’t believe that I didn’t???
Its driving me crazy even though I take my distance. I still cannnot comprehend that. I will like to have a 3rd person POV on that pls.
18 comments
You wanted a kiss from her just because you were drunk? I believe spur of the moment things do happen, but do you remember by chance what was going through your head when you brought that up? It is a little odd that you simply chalk this up to “I was drunk” which, to many, is a simple scapegoat excuse.
Usually you try and kiss someone that you’re interested in. She took that as you have a crush on her. I could understand your thought process being drunk and just wanting to hookup or you are doubling down that you never had a crush on her in the first place.
What age are you?
Why did you ask her if you don’t like her? That doesn’t make sense. You either find her attractive or just try and kiss any oul person about. So obviously that will give an impression across especially in a friendship when you ask them to kiss you?!
I didn’t think I’d have to spell that out..
If a friend kept insisting something that I said wasn’t true then they wouldn’t be my friend for long. She sounds crazy
The two options here are that you had a crush on her and acted on it when you were drunk, or that when you were drunk you chose to try and use your friend for meaningless sex.
It’s entirely possible that your friend is choosing to believe the first option because she doesn’t want to believe the second.
Ignore her. She wants attention. You clearly don’t have a crush on her. People get drunk/tipsy and make out with people. It’s a big deal. Doesn’t mean you have a crush.
Tell her “I keep telling you it wasn’t a big deal but you keep making it a big deal. I’m starting to think you want me to have a crush on you…”
This is one of the sillier arguments I’ve ever seen. Can it be made any sillier? Let’s try.
She: You’ve always had a crush on me.
He: I got drunk one time and asked for a kiss.
She: Admit it. It was more than that.
He: So what if I asked for a kiss now?
I’m suggesting that if you take the conversation in this direction, it won’t be long before she remembers why she didn’t want to kiss you.
Seriously, is there anything you would want from her or not?
You should stop hanging out with her then. It’s the best way to end this situation.
I don’t get why so many people are acting like you have to be interested in someone to kiss them I’ve kissed so many people I’m not interested in on a drunk night
There are a lot of things this could be, but the most likely is that she is someone who doesn’t want to kiss people unless she has some feelings for them, and so she views everyone else’s behavior to some degree through the lens of her own experience. It’s innocent enough to think that way, but not to harp on it after rejecting someone, like you’re rubbing their face in it.
If it comes up again, I would just be clear and say something like “Listen…I’m not really sure what you’re going for here. Either what you think is true, or what I say is true. If what you think is true, then you are trying to get some enjoyment out of hurting someone you think has unrequited feelings for you by rubbing their face in it while also calling them a liar for trying to have some dignity. If what I say is true, then you’re so unable to comprehend a reality where you’re not the focal points of other people’s lives that you think you can write the entire narrative yourself and dictate other people’s feelings and thoughts. If it’s the first, you’re not a good person and I don’t know why I would want to stay friends with you. If it’s the latter, you are so self-absorbed that I don’t know why I would want to stay friends with you. So no matter which is correct, you continuing to harp on it just makes you not a good person. Which is frankly, a big part of why I don’t have a crush on you. But if you need to lie to yourself to get through your day, have fun- I just won’t stick around for it.”
Easy! Kiss a different girl in front of her. That’ll put her in a different gear.
Whoever wrote this has to be in school. Go to bed kid.
Just tell anyone who mentions it that you’re glad that you didn’t actually kiss her because you dodged a bullet that the drama would have been 1000x worse if you actually did (based on her actions)
I’d think she would want you to try again, if she keeps insisting.
The amount of people in the comments who have never been drunk and tried to kiss someone 😭
A lot of people have been commenting the side that maybe she wants attention… but when I first read your post, I’m left wondering if your initial attempt may have caught her off guard. She wasn’t expecting that in the moment, but maybe after having time to reflect on it, could it be that she might be interested in you? Maybe she’s trying to get you to admit you have feelings because she realized she has feelings for you?
A completely different take from the comments here but also worth considering. I can’t really tell based on how you’ve portrayed her in your post.
Clearly she found you having a crush on her a ego boost, and she’s reluctant to give up on it for that reason.
why are you so ashamed of being into her, is she ugly or something? from the wrong side of town? not who anyone thinks?