Hello, hope everyone is having a good day ! ☺️
I’ve moved to another country this year, I’m living now 15 000 kilometers from my family and friends from my hometown.
I’m a very social person, I always had tons of friends, people I could count on and they could count on me.
I have a group of friends here, we are 5, I mean they are 4 and I am one.
They live together and they always hangout, they never call me.
Last week they went out everyday without calling me, as I don’t know anybody in this new country I stayed home everyday.
I called one of them telling him, bro call me next time you wanna do something, you guys never call me I’m always on my own.
He told me ” you need to call us, we won’t call you if you wanna hang out call us”, I don’t really agree cause they make last minutes plans and I can’t guess whether they gonna hang out or not.
I feel kinda lonely, I’ve left my girlfriend to come to this new country for an opportunity and now I’m far from my family, friends and I sleep alone everynight. Sometimes I do a week or two without speaking to anybody.
I also had a severe accident two months ago and no one visited me in the hospital, I was feeling like crap. Didn’t tell my family cause my parents are old and I don’t want them to worry.
Are they really friends ? I saw one of them last week and he told me I was right, he understood how I felt but they still went out without calling me after.
What should I do ? Are they really friends ?
When it’s to borrow money they know my number (they always paid me back tho), but when it’s for plans no one knows how to call me.
Thanks a lot for the replies.
3 comments
I had a friend say that. Same situation. Thought we were really close.They said- if you want to talk, you call. This was after i said it’s always me reaching out. I cut them off after that, there was no point in chasing people who didnt seem interested.
This person reached out months later apologizing. But it’s never been the same since. I already knew what kind of a person this was and didnt really trust them again to maintain that close friendship.
I know it sucks especially when you’re alone and see your friends and family enjoying their life and you’re wondering if you made a mistake leaving all the support system behind for an opportunity.
But, true friends and relationships stick. Distance or not. This is what i tell myself. In fact, i feel you accelerated the process by moving out. Had you been there, you wouldn’t have known they arent your true friends anyway.
When people show you who they are, believe them.
Try to get new friends. They seem to be closed in their own bubble.
Sports, crafts, volunteering, language and music lessons are great ways to meet people.
-Edit: And stop lending them money.
I would try to find some new friends, but don’t cut those off. Just stop initiating and if they invite you great, if not oh well.