I (31f) have a weird complex during sex with my boyfriend (40m).
I am super uncomfortable saying anything or talking dirty unless I am **FUCKED UP**. And even then, I’m still pretty reserved.
My boyfriend and I have an incredible sex life. It’s sooo good. I love it. However…. There are times he will ask things like… “where do you want it first, baby?” or “what position do you want me to put you in?”…. And I love the way he talks like that. It turns me on insanely.
But I get so nervous and shut down. I don’t know what to say or how to respond. I’m extremely submissive, probably to a fault. I don’t know how to respond to him and feel so awkward trying to respond in a way that turns him on.
I have some past sexual trauma so it’s possible it is related to that but I’m really not sure. My past relationships haven’t been healthy or even remotely about my satisfaction sexually. This one is… He loves to watch me and loves to see what he does to me.
I can tell he wants more from me in these situations and I need to know how to build myself up to give that to him verbally. There have been so many times we’re having sex and I want him to put it inside elsewhere (which we’ve done a lot) but I get so incredibly nervous to say it. I’ll be literally dying for it but *cannot* get it out of my mouth for him to know I want it.
Idk what to do… đ
3 comments
Start with honesty and basic description, slanted. âWherever you want.â Start making noises. Normalize talking during sex.
Youâre looking at it like a switch you need to flip, instead itâs like a slow adventure. One foot in front of the other.
If u aren’t upto saying anything dirty…sign language it (and I don’t mean it literally.) I mean point to ur mouth or wherever else u want it. If he asks u what position and u want doggy jump into the position and shake ur ass/tail. Response doesn’t always have to be verbal in order to be sexy.
Hmm maybe some role playing? If it’s a “character” saying these things, and not YOU, would that help? Pretend to be someone else!