Thanks so much for any insight or advice in advance. What it says on the tin really. More details below if needed:
Connection to the point of staying up till 7am talking, sex like you’ve never had before, and I’ve been around the block once or twice, attraction unrivalled. Basically the best times ever in person.
Communication outside of seeing eachother (texting etc) got bad. When I say bad, I mean bad. Days between responses and the lamest excuses. This was after he specifically brought up in person he wants us to text more etc etc, then he almost immediately did the opposite. I voiced being upset about it and he continued. Any sane human would probably say he doesn’t give a f about me.
I’ve felt so played and disrespected I’ve ended up breaking things off. He’s been acting like he wants to chat about things and even said on Sunday can we meet up or have a call, but when I replied hours later (work) he didn’t reply and now he’s back to “not having the capacity”.
I’m just so confused at how it’s even possible for a connection to feel so amazing and genuine, whilst it actually means nothing to the other person? I feel like this is what stops me being able to get over it, thinking surely it can’t all be fake. He is a player though. Can anyone please provide advice or insight? TIA
2 comments
You don’t have a genuine connection. You have a connection you WANT to be genuine. Just have to cut off all contact, block him on everything and move on.
Got involved with a player, then are surprised you got played?
What you are describing is *infatuation*. It floods you with dopamine, quite literally, like a drug. I remember reading somewhere that it’s comparable to cocaine and can give you withdrawal. However, you need to beware of infatuation! Infatuation is a shallow, sexual feeling that often doesn’t last. It’s your body screaming at you to reproduce with someone so you can make healthy, genetically beautiful children. Your body, however, knows nothing about long term compatibility, relationship needs/wants, life goals, etc. If you let infatuation consume you, when the dopamine runs out either on its own or because the guy leaves, it will always end in pain like the pain you’re feeling now. However, **you** are in control, not your body. With discipline and self-respect, you can prevent yourself from falling for guys with different values/views. You deserve to find a guy that wants what you want, stays committed, and is founded on a connection beyond dopamine/sex.