I(F21) have been in a relationship with BF(M26) for just over two years. We have a long distance relationship, he lives in Europe and I live in the US.
Because the relationship is long distance we had to find ways to stay close. We’d watch movies and tv shows together, we’d play video games together, and we’d do study dates because we’re both in university.
We’ve visited each other several times in the past two years and we’ve had a good time being around each other. He met my family in the summer of 2021 and they liked him a lot! I flew to Europe in December of 2021 to return the favor and his family HATED me!
The complaints were all over the place and a bit nonsensical. They complained we were spending too much time in his room and then complained that we were always in the living room. They warned him not to get me pregnant because I would trap him and use him for his money (I don’t need his money). It eventually led to them kicking me out in a foreign country where I had no money, knew no one, and didn’t speak the language. His family expected him to break up with me but he didn’t and there were several big arguments about that.
I went back home Jan. 6. Ever since I’ve been back we haven’t been able to do any of the things we used to. He lives with his family so we can’t watch movies or play games or even just hang out together because his family will throw a fit. He’s looking for a job rn but hasn’t found anything and doesn’t have the money to move out.
He still calls me, but it’ll be in the car where the signal is out 70% of the time or while he’s walking his dog which annoys me a little because he’s always distracted.
Things don’t really feel the same anymore. Conversation feels pretty stiff whenever we call partially because it’s just always interrupted. And because we don’t really do anything together anymore it feels like there’s no fun.
Idk what to do. It’s been four months of this. I miss my boyfriend and I’m tired of feeling like a secret but I know the only person that suffers when we talking is him. Am I being selfish? What do we do?
TL:DR BF and I don’t hang out like we used to because of family drama. How do we stay close?
3 comments
I don’t think you can. It sounds like it is *he* drifting away *from you*, possibly because he respects his family’s take.
Have you talked to him about your concerns on drifting apart? Sometimes that’s all it takes. He might share the same worries, and if he doesn’t it’ll give him a chance to try and do a lil more with you. Talking about it can help you both feel seen. Hope you feel better soon ❤️
This sounds absolutely normal for a long distance relationship with no future. It sucks, but it sounds like breaking up is the correct choice here. He’s clearly not willing to stand up for you, so there’s nothing you can do.