I (M21), am fairly good looking and quite funny, but super awkward and shy and a bit prudish. I have around 150 matches on Hinge, but most of them we have a nice chat the first few days, move to insta if lucky, WA if luckier but it eventually dies out. And I’ve been told that I wait wayyyyy too long for anything.
I just can’t get myself to ask someone out as I get scared by the idea of going on a date. I have previously dated people from my uni whom I had known for a while, so it was much easier. And there are so many interesting people out there, and i really do want to meet them and give it a shot. But feel very limited. Basically, I’m not flirty in the right sense
8 comments
What’s the fear about the date?
If you are hot as you say I wouldn’t worry about it. Some girl will ask you out first.
I used to be like that where I would wait so long to ask them out or make plans. Eventually you realized its just a first date, low stakes, can leave after an hour if you want, etc. Just gotta shoot your shot and ask them out quickly. I was also nervous asking out a stranger that I had sent maybe 4 texts to, but it gets easier trust me.
The way to move past the talking stage is to actually ask these girls out.
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“Hey, I’d love to get to know you better. Are you free on [day] for [activity]?” If you’ve been chatting and its been flowing, they’ll more than likely say yes. You’re not gonna move past the talking stage until you get over your fear of going out on a date with someone you don’t really know. That’s the point of the date! To to get to know them better
Women love confidence, you seem to be lacking in that area. Pick a place you are comfortable and have things that you have to talk about, just be natural. Have a one track mind about what you want and follow through with it. It’s not hard when you actually do it, and follow through with it. The worst that will happen is they say no.
Dude, you’re literally doing what I used to do. DO NOT LET THE FIRE DIE DOWN. IF YOU CONNECT GO ON THE DATE ASAP.
I feel u man. (M21) as well. I’ve asked a similar post but didn’t get any replies yet.
You need to get over yourself hun. You’re not going to have progress unless you ask them out. As a woman, we like action. Why would I continue talking to someone and wasting my time? I have a deadline on when a guy can ask me out from when we start talking and if he doesn’t he’s going into the trash. You’re 21, not 15. A first date isn’t all that you’re just overthinking. JUST DO IT. Ask them out and follow through. Don’t make last minute cancellations.