My past social failures haunt me.
I am a generic guy who goes to work, comes home, and eat. I have no real hobbies beyond surfing the web and watching sports. The past few times I put myself out there, all I got was the cold shoulder from everyone. Nobody was interested and I don’t blame them. I gave up. Now, two years later at age 31, I’m contemplating on putting myself out there again. But I’m afraid.
I worry it will be the same thing all over again. I tried to have hobbies without becoming too desperate. I tried to be myself but it’s just not sticking. I am unable to commit to an activity because I’m too tired from work. Honestly, I’m lost and don’t know if it’s worth reviving my social life. Loneliness is a bitch and I don’t want to sell myself out just to have toxic company.
There’s gaming, reading, and watching sports but there’s a voice inside me saying it’s too early to give up.
5 comments
Maybe take more of an interest in other parties you’re connecting with. Ask about their interests and then ask probing questions to get more information. You can learn about new things to possibly try while simultaneously working on social skills. When they ask about yours, you can say something like “to be honest I’ve been working so much/so busy/taking a break/etc so I haven’t done much lately but I’ll be changing that.”
– Start doing some sports. You have to spend energy to get energy.
– It’s (unfortunately) really nowadays common to just work, come home, eat and watching shit on tv. But if you’re excited about following sports, there’s *so many* people wanting to chat about the sports with you.
– And yes of course it’s worth reviving your social life. Loneliness is a bitch and once you get the ball rolling you will have SO MUCH FUN.
– Ask people questions about their lives, get them to talk about what they are passionate about and they will love you for making them feel interesting. It’s not the end-all-be-all, but it’s quite the hack to get the ball rolling.
what is your job and what is your health/ sleep schedule like?
unless you are working a super physical job or long 12 hour days you should still have energy to do things after work.
Hobbies don’t make someone interesting. I have hobbies and these hardly ever come up in conversation.
What makes someone interesting is having some passion/enthusiasm for: yourself, other people, Life Itself.
Read more books. Expand and decorate your mind with literature and then share what you learn. People love that. Being well read is like being well traveled. Asking for book suggestions is also a great ice breaker to get a conversation stared. You can build your social circle with friends that read the same type of things you do and you’ll always have something to talk about. Get a library card and just start [reading](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YBus4gHF1FE).