Lookin for advice

6 comments

1. Is this a coworker or….?

2. Totally depends on the situation. But if they work in customer service and you’re a customer, they might just be working. Without knowing more I would say just to continue talking to them and if anything bring up some form of social media (instagram I’d say is safest) to show her *whatever common interest you might have on there* that could make a safe out of work environment without possibly asking her out *if* she is showing interest in a ‘they’re working and being nice’ kind of way.

3. Depends on the context. If she’s busy or there are a bunch of coworkers around, then it’s probably better to be subtle and indirect. Meaning, you simply ask for her number; maybe you ask her to write down so it isn’t too obvious. The reason being that maybe she isn’t allowed to give out her number or she doesn’t want a bunch of gossip or she doesn’t have time to talk. If she asks why you want her number, you say you want to ask her out eventually.

4. “Hey just wondering if it’s possible if I could get to know you a little better?”

   If she says yes then give her your cell number, do NOT ask for hers. I’ve had a lot of success with this approach, but always offer your number, if she gives you hers then great.

5. I’d write down my number ahead of time, give it to her, and say, “Hey, I don’t know if you want this so feel free to throw it out”. Say have a good day or whatever you usually do and then go about your business. Then you can keep treating her normally and she can make a move if she wants.

6. You cant really ask someone at work, especially if they’re in a customer service role. Part of their job is to be friendly. You can ask them if they’re interested in trying a new hobby or restaurant. Plan on going yourself even if she doesn’t want to go.

   **My line I use when making new friends (platonic or romantic) is “I’m not sure if you’re being friendly for your job or you’re interested in this thing we’ve talked about before, but I’m doing this thing on xxxyyyzzz. You can come with if you are interested. I’ll pay for it.”**

   I got my car fixed and talked to this guy about my hobby. He seemed excited and asked me more questions than normal when I tell people about it. I gave the same line and offered my number. He pulled out his business card and wrote his personal cell on the back. I didn’t hear from him after right after I texted, but when I confirmed details for meeting up he replied. If I get less response than this from a girl I stop bothering her. If I get more response I offer her more time if I have more to offer.

   someone who wants to be friends will go even if they don’t care about the activity, the person who likes the activity and doesn’t mind having someone to go with will spend some time getting to know you, and people who are just being friendly will say they’re busy. If the person is actually busy at that time who still wants to go will suggest an alternative time. Since you are interested in her if she offers an alternative you will probably take it.

   If she doesn’t like the activity she may suggest something else or invite you to something if she’s interested. The point is to give her a way to turn you down without guilt and to say yes without appearing awkward or having to explain things to people.

   if she says no thanks or makes an excuse you don’t ask again. If she’s interested or changes her mind she will remember you asked and will ask you in a similar way.