Some background information. I’ve been with my bf for almost 3 years next month. We’ve been living together for about one year. My bf works m-sat 6am-8:30pm and I don’t get a lot of time with him. I’m huge on spending time with family and have a lot of events I go to without him because of his work (which I understand). However, about 2 months ago I asked him to take the day off Oct 1st to go to an important 21st bday party with me. I want him to be a part of my family. He told me he put the time in and was waiting to hear.
But about 2 weeks before the party he tells me he’s not going because his dad got baseball tickets for he and his family. So after committing to going with me he cancels. Super upsetting to me as this isn’t the first time he’s done this.
Howeverrrr, I just discovered this message and I’m pissed off even more.
His mom: what do you have going on Oct. 1st?
Bf: it’s a 21st bday party for Andrea’s (me) cousin or whatever. It’s fine if I can’t go, she asked me to request it off. Really don’t care if I go or not.
(He did not express not wanting to go)
His mom: dad has baseball game ticket for you if you want to go with your bro and sis-in-law and him.
(Btw he’s not into sports and told me it was only a guys trip)
Bf: on that day?
His mom: yes
Bf: ya na I’ll go to the game.
I just find it so rude and his lack of communication is frustrating. I rarely ask him to take time off of work and it feels like it’s always a big deal when I do ask. Is it bad I want my partner to experience important family events with me? I make a lot of compromises with him and his family.
TL;DR!
Bf cancels on event commitment to me. Goes to a sporting event he could care less about and then lied about the situation. Would you be upset?
6 comments
I would feel like I’m not important to him
I would be upset. Do you go to his events that he finds important even if you’re not interested?
Your bf is taking a lot from you but not giving a lot back? Of course it’s not bad to want your partner to come to important events with you, and your bf is clearly showing that he will not keep his word.
Wow, he really blew it!
I’d be upset, too. He canceled on something that was important to you, and the messages suggest that he didn’t try to respect that. Even if he didn’t care about the event, he could have said something more along the lines, “I don’t want to go, but Andrea wants me there, so I’m trying to be there.” Instead it was just, “It doesn’t matter whether I go or not.” Which was not true, because it had clearly mattered enough to *you* to ask him to take a special day off. Pretty inconsiderate. Is he dismissive of your feelings in other ways, as well? Or was this one incident?
Why did he have you read the messages between him and his Mom? That seems mean.