Me (21M) and my girlfriend(22F) have been together for about 14 months now and have been with each just about every day since. I’m not sure what to think sometimes, It’s not often but sometimes I find myself scared to talk to my girlfriend out of fear that we might argue or differ on opinions. It also just feels like their is almost a disconnect some days, everything she is at 100% I never am, and vice versa, it feels rare nowadays that we are both on the same wave length. I’m not sure if we are falling out of touch of not, but I know I don’t want to lose her, but sometimes I just get so irritable with every little thing that goes on and just find myself in an angry mood over nothing. I’m open to any and all advice as this is my first relationship and I’m not sure what to do.
2 comments
The first year or two are smooth sailing in a relationship. Typically. Its more infatuation than anything. Which makes sense in this case. Women, more times than not, are more vocal about issues within the relation so men tend not to bring them up as much. But you also need to be more vocal about your issues. Communication is literally the foundation of any relationship. Because if you don’t communicate, it will eventually lead to resentment. And resentment is hard to turn around.
If its hard for you to articulate what you think, then tell her that. It takes time. There are many variables in how we develop as people. Especially in our current environment. Her parents could have been straight forward, in your face type people which is why she finds its easy. But if you’re willing and are willing to be vulnerable, you can work on it. Its a speed bump. Not a dead end.
You’re not always going to feel connected to your partner. That’s crazy. Two completely different individuals completely in sync all the time will never happen. The main thing is that you work towards the same goal. And its good that you have “fights” or discussions. Its a way to build towards that goal. It shows you where you are and where they are. There’s a reason the world wasn’t turned to ash in the 80’s and 90’s. World leaders negotiated instead of turning each other into glass.
Regardless of the hierarchy the same rules apply. Work with your partner. Find a solution. There won’t always be good times. You will fight. But you’ll find a solution and be the better for it. It’s incredibly hard, but its nice having them there.
You have to keep consistent communication with eachother bro there’s np other way, there’s days I find myself the same in my relationship that I sometimes feel like is going great but like you there’s those days where there’s mo connect sensation. You have to ask what’s going on and what can we do to fix it, express why you’re asking and how much she means to you bro, like it sounds corny Ik but it’s your only way of kind of turning on that switch of realization to both your brains that something needs to be worked on and done so nothing you don’t want ends up happening.