Longtime friend (M26) recently out of a breakup. “Falls in love” with me (F25), things go great. Then he suddenly pulls away. Best advice after becoming accidental rebound?

Hi yall: TLDR; a long distance gaming friend of mine recently broke up with his abusive girlfriend of five years. We messed around without feelings for a bit but this man seemed so sure about me, pursued me, and I believe genuinely fell in love with me. I fell in love back. However, turns out he was in over his head and suddenly pulled away from me. I’m feeling foolish for seeing this as a possibility but still letting it happen to me. How can I best move on when I was the rebound?

Hi Reddit. Essentially M, my friend of over a year, and I get along incredibly well. He’s a lot of what I look for in a partner, and he’s genuinely one of the nicest, kindest, and emotionally deep people I have ever met. His capacity to love and to make those around him feel included and valued is incredible.

One night he came to us with news he had broken up with his girlfriend for good after she had physically assaulted him again by hitting him in the head multiple times. He and I grew closer talking about the aftermath of the breakup and eventually it lead to some heavy flirting. He had communicated that he didn’t feel attracted to her EVER in their relationship, she had hygiene issues, and had essentially learned to love her rather than feeling that immediate spark most people feel. He also said that he always thought we would make each other really happy and that he had secretly had mild feelings for me since we met a year ago, but we both never acted on that or even acknowledged it. We acted like normal friends, always.

She is super controlling, my whole friend group witnessed it multiple times live on discord. So a lot of us were glad that it had ended. However they still share an apartment and from my knowledge she had no solid plans to leave there yet. He offered her money to help her move out and find a new place and she refused the money but is dragging her feet on moving out.

This is why I pumped the breaks between he and I when things started getting more serious between us. I didn’t want to rush him into figuring out the logistics AS WELL as the emotional issues that come naturally with a breakup.

He said he felt fine and great, dropped the L bomb first, told me he has never felt more sure about someone as he does about me. But then suddenly he became distant. I gave him space and time and let him do his thing for a bit until it started actually worrying me and hurting me. I brought up calling this off until he was over it completely and healed (which could take up to a year or more I assume) and he immediately took the out and asked to stop everything.

I respected that and actually encouraged that for his AND my sake, and we ended things. He mentioned that his feelings for me haven’t changed, but he didn’t feel worthy enough for me or even for himself. He suffers from mental health and depression issues and I realize that I can’t fix that and that that is a journey he has to take himself. Especially after mental, emotional and physical abuse.

Anyways. I’m embarrassed and upset almost more at myself that I should have seen this coming. I love him so much as a person and I never pressured him or anything but after we called things off he blocked me.

I’m more upset about losing him as a friend, but I won’t lie and say I didn’t also see him as husband material. How can I move on best? Why did he block me when we ended things on a good note? He said that when he’s in a better place in life he would maybe try again with me, but am I dumb for keeping that door open? God, what a mess lol.

Any advice for being the rebound? My heart just feels stuck :/ Things ended three weeks ago.