I kinda doubt anyone will even respond to this.
So, I (F) got married last year. After our marriage, I came to find several instances in which my husband had lied to me about his whereabouts + evidences on his phone in which he was texting a hooker (his explanation is so outrageous, I don’t even wanna mention it)
After all of these things, I’ve gotten to have my reservations (& I think I have every right to feel so) he, on the other hand, turns every situation around on me and starts calling me psycho. He literally won’t even accept the fact that I have every right to feel the way that I feel. No, he says I SHOULD NOT question him AT ALL. (It’s such bullshit, I literally don’t know what to do)
So now I’m contemplating on doing a loyalty test. What do you guys think?
Girls don’t even agree to do shit like this for other fellow women, so idk. Should I do it? I feel like I’m being gaslighted and manipulated like crazy.
Please some guidance will be good.
11 comments
Why test him? You know the truth already. Do you need it to happen in your face?
I guess because, he has made me question my own sanity even though, as you said “I know the truth already”. I don’t know how to describe it. So yeah I suppose I need to see it firsthand…
I mean I’ve seen shit on his phone and shown it to him and asked for an explanation and this guy has completely denied everything! All I do is feel like I’m going crazy
The test is a waste of your time. You already know what you need to know. Talk to him and see what the issue is and why he does what he does. Give him one chance to fix it, if he fails then you know you tried and you can move on to something better.
Your husband is being defensive and is lacking in empathy for how you feel. Google defensiveness in relationships. It’ll kill a relationship every time. Deal with that, and let that issue be what makes or breaks your relationship as you have clear evidence of that being a problem. Doing a loyalty test just adds more drama. Not worth it.
If he fails will you finally leave him? Why bother waiting until he hurts you next when you can leave him now that he’s already hurt you plenty?
Honestly if I were ever contemplating things like this in my marriage I would just leave.
You’ve actually multiple reasons to leave.
> he was texting a hooker
Texting and Sexting a prostitute is Cheating. What’s is the point again?
If you want to hire a PI then go ahead. But I would advise you to consult a divorce attorney at the earliest. If you found something incriminating that will be good ground for divorce. But do remember you husband would give outrageous explanation (in other words gaslighting) how it’s not what it seems and play he was lonely and victim of the situation.
You have to get ready for a long drawn fight.
Even the way you’ve written this sounds like you’ve been lied to and gaslighted so much that your sense of reality and self-worth is totally starting to erode. It sounds like you know that your husband is cheating and lying to you about it and turning it around on you. And now he’s acting like a total jerk. So, why are you still with him? Do you feel like you need more proof?? If he is making you feel crazy, get yourself out of that situation asap before you lose any more of yourself!! Yes, you haven’t been married that long but how much more time do you want to waste on him? He is not good for your sanity. Start making your plan to get out now. Forget the loyalty test. You don’t need it and you know it.
read rule #1
we can’t really judge him with “evidences on his phone”, you could be over-reacting, he could be a cheater. not enough info
I mean, you already did. And he failed.