This guy (21 m) wants to take me (20 f) out on a date and it would be our first date. He’s not from my city and he drives down to visit so this excuse seems plausible but I haven’t had the greatest taste in men and I’m thinking it might be because I ignore obvious red flags like this. So, he asked me out on a date and said we should hang out when he comes down to my city but then he asked me what I wanted to do. I told him I’m not picky and I just wanted to do something he would enjoy but he still seemed a little unsure. I’m used to guys taking the initiative and setting up dates themselves but as I said, he’s not from my city, so I gave him a little bit leeway. I suggested the movies and this man straight up said he doesn’t like going to the movies I’m a little lost.
6 comments
I hate to nitpick but you keep saying red flags. Finding out someone doesn’t possibly live in your city can be a dealbreaker. You can hardly call someone out as having red flags because they don’t live in your city.
But to answer your plight. He’s just not that interested.
Guy here.
If you say you haven’t had the best taste in men and then say you’re used to men who take initiative …and then you have a guy who is different and asks you what you want to do and you see it as a red flag? I don’t follow the line of thinking.
A date is not supposed to be a tryout to see which man comes up with the best idea, it should be a time mutually enjoyed, so what you enjoy matters and I see it as a good thing he asked.
In my opinion, movies is a suboptimal choice of an early date as it’s compulsory to be quiet in the theater – maybe a walk/meal is better, so you can talk and see where your minds move and how as you are in the same environment. So I’m with him on this one as well.
Judge him by how he treats people and if he does what he says.
I wouldn’t go as far and say it’s a red flag but if a guy asked me what I wanted to do and shot me down when I suggested something it would annoy me and I would be less interested
If he asked you out, then he should be making the plans. There’s no excuse these days with Google, smartphones etc etc. He may not be from your city, but he could’ve at least done some research.
Sounds like you like a guy who can take the lead. This is not your guy.
I’d probably say coffee or a couple of drinks, then a walk around a park or something.
Then I’d ask if you have favorite places. His ideas, your local knowledge.
As a girl, a movie as a first date sucks. You literally don’t get to talk to them or get to know them. Why don’t you look up “best place to go on a date in ___” on Google? and if he’s visiting you from outside of town, and he’s nice enough to let you pick, at least try to pick something lol..