TL;DR – Had a ‘situationship’ for a year, whilst in a relationship with someone else. Ended it with him after a year, dealing with guilt(getting better), but can’t seem to stop thinking about him. I look him up on social media & see his new girlfriend and how happy they are constantly and can’t seem to stop? (I don’t msg him or her, I just look)
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I had an online encounter with someone else for over a year while I was in a relationship I was unhappy with. (Before you all ask, I am not hiding this, it’s all been discussed with my partner and we are working on our relationship and trying to move forward). It’s been a year now since I’ve told my partner about my infidelity. I’m not proud of it…. but for some reason I can’t stop thinking about this person to this day..Once I broke off the ‘situationship’, we never spoke again or tried to contact each other again. It was clear I was more in my feelings with him. (IT WAS ALL ONLINE, YES IK ITS STILL CHEATING). Till this day, I still can’t get him off my mind, and i’m not sure if it’s because I loved him, or loved the idea of him. Why am I still thinking about someone who clearly didn’t care about me and just kept in touch online purely because of lust? What’s wrong with me? Why am I still thinking about him?
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\*\*PLEASE BE BRUTALLY HONEST\*\* I genuinely want some help.
3 comments
You need therapy. Sounds like you have zero self control, obsessive tendencies, and total disregard for whoever you are actually dating.
I’m never going to say something is “wrong” with you so… there’s that 😅
BUT what I can say is your heart and brain likely feel like there’s “unfinished business” with ol’ boy you were cheating with. Also, as humans we always want what we can’t have. There’s a level of sponteniety and excitement that comes with it and that happens ESPECIALLY in mostly tech-based relationships (like you never REALLY know the person so you get to see all the good parts they show you + with emojis and blowing yo phone up and shit it feels uuuuberrr special and cute.)
Also, if you keep looking at your ‘exes’ social media you’re literally never going to stop thinking about him. You’ve gotta break that habit 💛
Look into limerence because it sounds more like that than love. Not that love is absent but maybe it’s something else too.
It’s also ok to think about various forms of intimacy and how to have your needs met outside of romantic relationship whether it’s really close friendships. The one person only model is not what we were evolutionarily built for.