I’ll start this by saying this isn’t a current issue going on. Actually it happened in 7th grade but I find myself with the same unhealthy habits now and then and want some advice. Also I’ll try to keep this short and sweet(like cookies).
okay, we’ll call this friend Alice(f13). the whole incident started with my teacher saying we were gonna have an end of year potluck. at this time i’d really gotten into baking and decided to make some cookies for the potluck.
i was stoked tbh, i’d connect with my peers and give a little to the people around me. especially the janitor, i thought “wouldn’t it be nice to give this sweet woman who works hard to keep our school clean a cookie or two as a thank you”.
anyways, i was super shy then, had bad social anxiety and was too shy to give it to her in person so i was gonna leave it on a desk by her closet with a note saying ‘thank you, hope you have a great summer’. at this point my friends started showing up(it was the start of the school day) and asked me what i was doing. i told them what i was doing and they were convincing me not to go through with it. especially Alice. she said it’d be weird and if she saw i left a cookie on the desk, she’d probably just toss it thinking it was trash.
we kept going back and forth until the bell rang and i stood up to leave, deciding to leave the cookie anyway. apparently Alice couldn’t take that and ran to grab the cookie, chomping while making eye contact with me and threw the napkin with the note in the trash. idk why but i was really mad about it after that. i wouldn’t talk to her.
anyways eventually all my friends found out and said i was being a baby and to just make up already. that being said i did give up but i never forgave her. with all that repent being bottled up we lost contact after summer and haven’t been friends since.
the thing i want advice on is was i wrong to ghost her after “fighting”. i realize it’s probably unhealthy but i’m still growing as a person and don’t know why. also i don’t want to be friends again, i just want to fix this habit.
better phrased: why is it unhealthy to give silent treatment to someone ur fighting with until u both don’t apologize and act like it never happened?
also sorry for dragging this out, i’d say ‘people love a good story” but it’s not that good lol
TL;DR!- i bottled up my anger after an argument with a friend and now we don’t talk, why is it unhealthy?
2 comments
No, it’s not unhealthy. Also, doesn’t seem like a habit—which is something that you do repeatedly and mostly automatically. This situation seems to be unusual for you, not a habit. You made it clear that you were angry because of their behaviour. If they wanted to repair your relationship, they could have reached out to apologize. They didn’t respect your choices/actions, so they don’t deserve your friendship.
Did she apologise to you, if she didn’t how can you forgive her. If she did I would either accept it or not but then move on. Can’t stay regretting your actions forever.