I’m (22) a guy, and I’ve been seeing a girl (22) (we both live in the u.s.). I paid for the first date, and we split our tab on the second. When I suggested we do that, she said, “yeah that’s fair because you paid the last time.” Do you think I should pay for dinner tonight? I only ask because I don’t want to be taken advantage of. I don’t know if she’s 100% into continuing our potential relationship and don’t wanna be a guy who just buys her food. Maybe I’m overthinking this though.
7 comments
You bought her a meal once so you’re hardly being taken advantage of.
Can you afford to pay for dinner tonight? Do you two earn similar amounts of money? There’s more to this than just who pays. Is it an expensive meal? An inexpensive meal? Did you ask her out and choose the place? All these factors play into what’s socially appropriate in terms of who pays. If you think she’s using you for free food you should either evaluate if you want to date her (because this would make her a shitty person) or evaluate yourself and see if you’re just so paranoid of being taken advantage of that you’re not even allowing yourself to just date this woman and actually get to know her.
You’re 22, you shouldn’t be going on expensive dinner dates to begin with.
If she hasn’t offered to pay for the 2nd date I would not offer to pay for the 3rd
Here is a simple way to gage what you are wondering. If you invite, you pay. If she invites, she pays. Whoever invites for the date should pay. Now if she stops making dates with you, you have your answer. Read energy too, listen and feel the vibe. If she is latina, you may have to talk about paying if you always pay, (culture thing). I been there.
Do u want to get laid? Or do u want a serious relationship.
If u just wanna get laid then pay for the 3rd date. But if u don’t get any by that time then ur sol so prob cut ur loses and dip.
Honestly, after being on too many dates with foodie girls that just want a free meal, I split checks for the first three dates, especially if I meet them through online dating. I’m upfront about it beforehand. There’s exceptions to the rule, but it requires a really, really good connection, someone I met via my social circle, or a simple meet and greet over coffee. I don’t buy into the notion of whoever asks for the date has to play, especially since approximately 95% of women want to be asked out compared to 5% of women that ask a man out. The hair that broke the camel’s back was one girl that decided to order the surf and turf with multiple fancy mixed drinks compared to my burger and one beer. She was on her phone pretty much the entire time and ended up completely trashed. When the waiter came, I asked for an itemized split of the bill. The look on her face was priceless.
You paid for first, split in second let her pay now