I (25M) have been dating my gf (23F) for about 5 months now and it couldn’t have been going better. We both fell really hard for one another and she had been staying in my place with me after about 2 months. We’ve both been pretty open with one another and spend most of our time together.
About a month and some change ago she was venting to me about her male friend and how he’s just losing touch with reality etc. and that she was worried. She said he had been a platonic friend for about 2 years and that nothing had ever happened. I just shook it off as normal and didn’t think much of it.
There was an instance when I came home earlier than she expected. She was on her phone topless (was like that when I left from the night prior) when I walked in the room. She freaked out covered up quick and locked her phone after seeing it was me. I joked while gathering some stuff for work that she was being sketchy for no reason and also didn’t think much of it as we had pretty good mutual trust with one another. She gave me some odd story about a day later how she covered up because she “felt fat” and how she was watching cringy videos on her phone so she just locked it.
Fast forward to about 2 weeks ago I leaned over to asked her a question about something random and noticed she was snapping the old close guy friend she was talking about being pretty insane. She had a snap streak of 300 days with him. I pressed her up about it because it seemed odd to me considering what she had been telling me. She finally told me that he was her old FWB and that it was “platonic now”. She claims she had been fucking him off and on until about 2 weeks before I met her but had broke things off with him because she no longer found him physically attractive. She told me she lied because she felt it would jeopardize our relationship (no shit). I told her it was more the fact she lied rather than who she was talking to. She also said she went to him from time to time for advice for my relationship with her.
Took a few days to myself to think and we’ve been back together since but I still have a sour feeling in my stomach. She unadded him on snap that night and went as far as just deleting her snap entirely (I didn’t ask she just did this). She says she hasn’t had contact with him since that night. I want to believe her but the realistic part of me says she’s a liar and has probably been sleeping with him the duration of our relationship or at the very least has been emotionally cheating on me. It was super disrespectful to me and our relationship and I just don’t know what to do going forward.
TLDR: GF lied about a long time “platonic friend” who ended up being a long term FWB.
3 comments
I’m guessing she was punching above her weight class with the dude, caught big feelings, but he’s keeping her on the bench.
She’s killing time with you until (she hopes) he wants a relationship with her, or until she lands someone better.
Keep riding the ride if it’s fun, but gtfo before things go south. She’s not the one.
And whatever you do, don’t put a child in this woman.
Edit: it’s also worth noting that she is almost 100% physically cheating on you, not just emotionally. So keep your stuff wrapped too.
Yeah don’t date liars.
You’re her placeholder while she tries to land this guy permanently.