Husbands, What things do you do to reconnect/reconcile with your wife? Or help her feel loved?

8 comments

1. Talk, apologize, remind each other of why we love one another, joke, cuddle. That kind of thing.

2. I used to do things for her, or buy her things, to reconnect then I realized that was toxic “nice guy” behavior. Best thing to do is not create the situations to begin with, learn how to grow your emotional inelegance.

3. My wife’s love language is physical touch so she feels most loved thru Cuddles massages and sex.

4. Do you know your love languages? If not, take the quiz and start from there. My wife loves acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. I give her back massages, bring her coffee in the morning and sometimes I’ll take over breakfast duties (she’s usually in charge of breakfast and I’m in charge of packing everyone’s lunches, but occasionally one of us will just do both if the other is having a slow morning). I plan dates and activities that are just for the 2 of us away from the kids, and I make sure to ask about her day and listen (without offering advice). I also like to write short love letters about why I love her when she does something that I notice and appreciate.

5. For us, a big part is understanding each other’s love languages. My wife is a big fan of “quality time”. That means dates and/or doing things together, even if it’s something as simple as going with her on her daily walk around the neighborhood. She also understands that I show love through acts of service and recognizes the things I do to make her day easier or better. Whether it’s helping with the laundry, the time I spend planning and preparing our dinners (she has digestive issues), or anything else I do for her, she appreciates and often reciprocates in kind.

   Also, cuddles. She needs more sleep than I do so she always goes to bed before I do (at least an hour, sometimes 3-4 hours before me). I used to wait for her to relax and go up just before she would turn out the light to tuck her in. Now, I go up when she goes up and we cuddle while she relaxes. If there’s anything we want to talk about (the day, maybe the kids, or even the relationship), that’s a good time because we’re both calm, relaxed, and feel more connected. Most nights, we just hold each others. Soon enough, she’s falling asleep and I’ll finish tucking her in. It’s intimate touch without feeling like it needs to turn into something more. It’s also turned into the favorite part of my day… 🙂

6. Wife here, but to echo what everyone else is saying— love languages. I read the book out loud while my husband did a puzzle over a few nights. Turns out people typically express love in the way they want to receive it and don’t always realize that their partner may not be recognizing those actions as acts of love. That was true in our case. Definitely worth the read or the quiz!

7. I give my wife a massage every night before bedtime plus whenever she is upset it really puts her at ease.

8. Take on a project together. Work together. Then kick back and enjoy some rest!