I’m 22F and still unsure about what I want if I’m being honest so I opt for casual. I meet guys who I am very honest with and then we both agree to keep things casual however, I find that they soon change their minds. Suddenly the guy starts acting as if we’re dating. Getting jealous, asking questions, and even talking about a future with me. This is something that is becoming frustrating because it’s a pattern. I can’t seem to find a guy who says he wants something casual and means it! Has anyone else had this issue when dating (guy or girl)? What do you do? Help this is really starting to bother me.
7 comments
I guess I used to he the guy who caught feelings often. Some people just make you feel a certain way. I guess it’s actually heart break that led me to not take things seriously but everyone will vary
It’s not your problem if they have an issue with it.
You said you wanted casual and you should continue to be casual if that’s what you want, if they have a problem with it’s that’s their fault.
They can either leave or accept it.
Nobody should be telling you what to do esp if you had set your intentions, put yourself first and don’t cater to what you don’t want.
You need to set clear expectations sometime before having sex with them. You also gota be careful about what kinda vibes you’re sending out when you’re with that person. If its purely sexual, let it be purely sexual. The more time you spend with someone the more feelings will develop.
…Some people think they want a FWB, or that theyre poly, etc – but the truth is its easy for feelings to change dramatically once youve had sex with someone. In reality I think there are insanely few people who can maintain a casual relationship for very long.
If you are only looking to meet guys to have a platonic friendship you need to let them know as soon you start having a conversation with them so that they doesn’t waste their time
I feel like for most guys, looking for casual is the default, because for some reason we have it in our heads that if we say anything other than that were looking to be married yesterday, or at least that’s how I saw it when I was in my early twenties.
Yeah I think it’s normal to grow feelings for anyone you’re dating, casually or not
Find someone emotionally unavailable
That way they will definitely not fall for you
>Why do guys complicate things **sometimes**?
Because sometimes they do. Or some guys do, but if you get a couple in a row, internally it feels like ‘every’ guy. But it’s not.
The first rule of casual is that it should be **fun**. As soon as it stops being fun, eg. guy starts getting possessive, jealous, taking up more of your time, etc. then it’s time to pull the plug and move on, find another guy. It may not be the fault of the guy to catch feelings too. He may have entered into an agreement with you for a casual/FWB arrangement in mind, but things happened and he started crushing on you. It may suck to hurt his feelings, but you’ll just have to nip it in the bud.