Throwaway account.
My friends and I are all virgins for different reasons. My male friend has never been in the best shape and feels uncomfortable in his own skin. My female friend is the tomboy type and always ends up getting friendzoned. I’m an introvert and socially inept when it comes to approaching girls and expressing interest. That being said, we still wanna fuck. The idea of us having a threesome was nothing more than a joke at the beginning, but over time it’s become a topic we’ve revisited over and over and now we finally decided to actually do it. The deadline is the end of this week. I’m very nervous. We all are. The three of us made our boundaries clear to one another, but still, so much can go wrong. Is it a good idea for 3 virgins to dive into a threesome or are we setting ourselves up for a disaster?
34 comments
Have fun, low expectations and honest communication!
Remember to talk a lot, you don’t have todo all the things at once. Sounds like it could be fun. Biggest thing is listen to each other.
I could write like 100 questions to help determine if this is a good idea to break the ice sexually with trusted friends, or a bad idea, but maybe the best suggestion I can give is start slow. Like all three of you pick some porn you think sort of matches what you’re hoping for (homemade is a must, real people and hopefully real reactions). Then make your first session just mutual masturbation in the same room or bed. See if you all want more after that. Set a rule that the first session is no sexual contact with each other. Go slow. No need to jump in feet first and start sticking penises and fingers in each other. I’d also worry about a potential dynamic for the one woman if she’s expected to have sex for the first time with two men. PIV sex can be very painful the first time(s).
I don’t think it’s a bad idea per se, but I think it’s important to emphasize that none of you should feel bad for being virgins, you’re all very young and it’s far from rare at your age. With that said, if you all *like* the idea, go for it.
I wish I stayed a virgin for longer. Having a bad first experience can mess you up for quite a while. Saying that, if you’ve all been communicating clearly and it’s something you want to do… why not? There’s no rule your first time has to be between two. Just please use lots of lube, condoms & have respect for each other afterwards, even if it is a little awkward. Don’t expect miracles on the first round, real life sex is hardly like porn. And seeing as there’s two guys & 1 lass, your roles are to make sure she doesn’t get hurt or overwhelmed okay? First time is daunting enough, let alone with two eager dicks fighting for attention.
I would say don’t do it just for the sake of not being virgins anymore, this could change your friendship. But if you’re doing because you all want it then why not ?
DISASTER. *DISASTER.* **DISASTER.**
You appear to have done none of the emotional prep work necessary! This has a high chance of messing up your friendship and being a bad first time for all of you if you don’t do the prep work! This could stay with you for many years in your life, think very carefully about the implications of this decisions.
I’m all for you guys having a threesome and going at each other, that will be awesome, *once you’ve done the necessary prep work.* You need to set expectations of what you all want to have happen, you need to set boundaries about what you don’t want to have happen, you need to check those boundaries against one another’s and understand what acts will and won’t be allowed and with whom. You need to compare your sexual desires, figure out who has what in common, who’s best suited for which acts, figure out safe words and consent structures, figure out what to do if someone is uncomfortable and needs to tap out, figure out how to talk about it with other people, what’s confidential and what’s not, what to do if your friendships change, what your post-tiresome boundaries will be. Hell you gotta figure out what music to listen to. There’s a lot to do before jumping into this if you want it to be successful, healthy, memorable, and pleasurable for everyone.
And for FUCK’s sake don’t put a *deadline* on it! How is that helping? It’s fucking you all up, your nerves are shit. You’re all going into this nervous and on edge and afraid, because you’re unprepared, no wonder. Cut yourself all some slack and nix the deadline and do some research and talking and sexual and emotional bonding before you jump into this. It will be an AMAZING experience if you just prepare properly ❤️
Yeah, what u/Beave1 said. Go slooooow. (Your first priority is to preserve the friendship!) Take it in several steps, be clear about what specific acts are and are not on the table. (Consent can be withdrawn at any time, by any party without repercussions.) Check in frequently.
Enjoy your selves!
I read the text and it feels like it’s not gonna end well unless you take it very, very slowly and communicate a lot, even during the act(s).
You are nervous and already feel like it’s a chore. You express being socially inept and that the other guy isn’t in the best shape (is it physical or mental?). I think only this could lead to sooo much discomfort bc one of you can’t really talk and the other one seems to think he’s ugly/ feels bad somehow. So basically there’s two guys not ready to have sex that want to have sex with a girl who hasn’t had sex before. She has no understanding what sex even feels like with a guy, let alone 2 guys. Have you talked about what you want to do exactly? What about scenarios when one of you will feel left out?
My advice is not to set a deadline and talk through things first.
I predict this will go horribly.
!remindme 4 days
Whatever happens please for the love of god provide us with an update. May the odds be in your favor, my friend.
Please don’t.
Its unconventional for sure but I dont think theres really anything wrong with it. You guys trust each other and want to do this together. As long as you talk about boundaries (for example what will one guy do while the other guy is with the chick? what does she want you to do?), using protection, what the plan is for afterwards- for example would it ruin your friendship if two of you continued to have sex in the future without the third one? Or will the chick continue to have sexual encounters with both of you individually?
I think the threesome itself isnt a terrible idea, but you need to get clear about what it would mean for your friendships going forward.
I highly advise against this
Virgin sex is bad. The girl usually bleeds and experiences some pain. The boy fumbles is awkward, doesn’t quite know what to do and everyone is self conscious
Threesomes are tricky and usually disappointing and often ruin relationships.
The combo sounds like a mess
I think since you are all virgins, its a horrible idea. It’s difficult enough the first time with only one person, why add to it? If you really want a theesome, wait until you’re more experienced.
This sounds fun! I personally would suggest not to pressure yourselves into jumping all the way to penetrative sex right away. Start with kissing, fondling, mutual masturbation, then talking about what each of you like and don’t like. Take the time to explore each other’s bodies and communicate, communicate, communicate. If you feel up for it, go down on each other. Particularly with your female friend, it will be helpful to understand genital anatomy and understand what she needs to get wet enough for penetration. Give yourselves the chance to explore and experiment, and then, only if everyone feels comfortable, try penetration. But it would be helpful for all of you to check in frequently to make sure everyone is comfortable and having a good time. You can always meet up a second or third or tenth time, so there’s no need to rush into anything!
I dont think its a bad idea, but I think its very necessary that you take things slow and communicate with each other. prepare alone by watching porn, maybe like the homemade porn to get a realistic idea. then maybe watching some together. I have had threesomes and foursomes and fivesomes so I get the nerves. Just make sure you’re all open to communication your needs and asking for consent.
My opinion on how much of a disaster this will be largely depends on who is playing with whom.
Are you and your male friend both straight, and attracted to your female friend?
What’s going to happen if one of you is noticeably ‘better at sex’, and one of you is noticeably ‘worse’? For example, if one of you can’t get or maintain an erection, and the other can? What if both of you can’t get or maintain an erection? Is your female friend going to feel really bad about herself, because she thinks it’s her fault? What if one of you finishes in 5 minutes, and the other one doesn’t finish for an hour? Is the other person going to sulk in a corner?
What happens if one person wants to stop, but the other two don’t? If both guys are going to be playing with the girl, is there a risk she feels pressured to keep going, even if she’s the one who wants to stop?
If both guys are also interested in playing with each other as well, then there’s potentially the problem of someone feeling as though they’re third-wheeling, or one participant being primarily interested in another, and not the third.
The ‘safest’ way to do this is probably just to masturbate and/or mutually masturbate, and then discuss going further afterwards, with clearer minds, instead of committing to a full, penetrative, sexual encounter with all partners as a first step into both ‘sex’ and ‘threesomes’.
Threesomes seem difficult, even for ‘experienced sex-havers’, never mind ones who are not in any formal romantic or sexual relationship.
I don’t think it’ll end up any other way than awkward between the 3 of you. Maybe, try not rushing into sex? Self control is a part of being an adult so just cause you “want to have sex” doesn’t really translate too “I should have a three way with my friend group.” It translates to “I should look for someone interested in me.”
Well although I really wouldn’t advise this, you are adults. But I will advise you to keep this in mind.
Plural sex, even with the best laid plans are very complex things from a mental and emotional standpoint, and sex with even ONE person is a virgin is just plain awkward if you take all feelings out of it.
But the most important thing is this: You only lose or give your virginity away **once**. And you never forget it. I freely gave away my virginity 32 years ago, and I still remember it, and her, like it was yesterday. So you must be prepared for it the be a memory to take with you for a lifetime before you proceed.
That sounds fun and interesting, I’d try to keep in mind to take it slow make sure you all talk and get comfortable with what you want to try and don’t want to try before you start, keep asking questions if your not sure and work up to things little steps are best here. And remember sharing is caring it’s no fun being left out (unless expressly said they’d rather watch or just not be involved). Also also it’s only gets weird if you let it get weird it seems like your all good friends so make it clear that you wanna keep that and the best way to do that is just be cool keep it light an fun maybe make up some fun “games” or just mix it in to what you already enjoy.
Good luck dude hope you all have fun and it works out for ya, don’t forget to update us.
Ps: please make sure your all clean and hygienic even if your all virgins there’s still things that can be not nice also CONDOMS!
This is the peak of youthful hubris and I think it’s fantastic.
Three geniuses
This is a deeply terrible idea
That’s awesome! Go do something weird with your friends, and you’ll share a unique bond for the rest of your lives.
Own your life, it’s yours only.
Pleeeease don’t do this. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into. Even for people who are sexually experienced it can be awkward and cause major problems after the fact. I’ve had threesomes twice in my life and they aren’t what they’re cracked up to be. I know they can be fun in the right circumstances and with the right people but it’s just not worth it.
I mean no offense to any of you, but I only see this ending one way. Awkwardly bad.
Just make sure you all practice safe sex
That sounds incredibly fun. Enjoy and be safe
Tbh I think this *could* help make losing your virginity more casual and less stressful for you and your male friend… the thought of losing my virginity in a 3 way with two guys is absolutely 100% horrifying lol, idk if it’s a good call for your female friend. Idk, if you all really wanna do it then why the hell not, but if you’re doing this just to lose your virginities, it doesn’t sound like a good call at all. There’s noooo rush. I lost mine at 21 just to say I lost it and then met my longterm bf like 2 months later… I am by no means prude or conservative in any way but I reeeeeeally regret not just waiting for the right time.
I’m rooting for you all to have an amazing time!
BAD IDEA BRO
Lube.. lots of condoms. Since if you lose your erection you need a whole new one.
Also the guys will lose an erection and possibly not be able to get one at all. So plan to deal with that kindly.
She may have a tough time taking a dick.
Oral and mutual masturbation sounds awesome.
This is hilarious. Please let me know how it goes.