TLDR: We’re going out again tomorrow for possibly the last time before I move away. And I don’t really know what I’m asking here, but I’m afraid of being too much or going too fast. I’ve known her since April but there was a period of like 3 months of no/sporadic communication. But this is our fourth date, and our third in 2 weeks. Things just feel right with her. Is it too soon to ask if we’re official, or if I can stay the night, or to start to make plans with visiting? I make enough where I can fly at least once a month and we both work remotely which would make visiting each other easier. She has also been wanting to move out of Tulsa which is another consideration. She’s been job searching the past few months. I just keep on thinking if things go well maybe she could move in with me. I’m renting a house.
Background:
I met this girl on bumble way back in April and we hit it off. We had our first date towards the end of may – a bit long, but she had had some personal stuff going on and we couldn’t go out till then. Our first date went really well, we had lots of shared values and interests and there was this connection and mutual attraction I hadn’t felt with someone else in a long time. We planned on going out again.
But that didn’t happen. After some weeks of sporadic communication compared to usual, I asked her what’s up and she said she had a lot going on and couldn’t dedicate the time or energy to date at the moment. She said we could talk and be friends which in hindsight I shouldn’t have agreed to. Since our first date communication had been very one sided and sporadic. August came by and I hadn’t heard from her in over a month. I visited Albuquerque and just decided I had to move there (from Tulsa). I had been wanting to move away but when I first met her, she was the only good reason to stay and it felt like she was out of my life so I decided to move.
I did need closure so in early September I told her how I was feeling and that I was moving away in october. I felt the way she treated me wasn’t fair. She apologized and we said bye on good terms and I thought that was it.
Late September, I get a text from her asking when I was moving and if I wanted to go to the park with her like we talked about. She expressed regrets that I was moving so soon – she wanted to apologize in person and she realized she didn’t want me to move without having met up again. Well, we did. We got boba and went to the park and it was great. A part of me was hoping I’d like her less or that I was idealizing her, but no.
We had our third date last Tuesday and I think we really connected emotionally and physically. Well, definitely physically. We didn’t sleep together, but I gave her a ride on my motorcycle and we went to a restaurant downtown. On the way back I held her hand at stoplights. When we got to her place, we talked a little. I told her I really liked her, that I was afraid of saying too much too soon but with the move it feels like there’s a deadline, and well I wanted to continue seeing her. I *think* she said she liked me too, that she could visit, and that we could take it one day at a time. My heads kind of fuzzy at the time which is why I say think. I walked her to her door, she invited me in and I met her cat, and we kissed.