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As a teenager we go to highschool parties or the park to hang out, college age its college parties and 18+ clubs, early to mid 20s its bars, clubs, strip clubs, parties etc, what about in your 30s? What do yall do for a social life?
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Im almost 30 and a little anxious about it. My whole life people have been telling me my…
Which would you rather know the revealed gender baby now or wait until the surprise gender baby arrives at the hospital and why?
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I’m curious why you pick. The open-mindedness to discuss a healthful topic.
To the men who pay for porn: why?
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To the men who pay for porn: why?
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Then it’s most likely because you don’t know, or think you did anything wrong, so the apology is most likely just superficial, with no intention of correcting behavior.
Actually mean it. Show that you feel the appropriate amount of remorse for whatever you’re apologizing for.
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Expression of regret.
Explanation of what went wrong.
Acknowledgement of responsibility.
Declaration of repentance.
Offer of repair.
Request for forgiveness.
If you don’t have all 6, your apology isn’t a very compelling apology. It helps if you’re actually sorry for what you did, and want to do better in the future.
Not only apologize for the specific thing that was done but mention how you will avoid repeating it in the future. Be sincere in your voice and keep your eye contact the entire time. Don’t look away no matter what.
1. Apologise (“I’m sorry”, “Apologise”) without ifs or buts
2. Acknowledge your mistake (“Yea I shouldn’t have done that”)
3. Say you won’t do it again (make sure you actually don’t)
Also, don’t try to deflect the blame to the person you are apologising to (“I’m sorry that you got angry”)
The biggest problem to apologising imo is ego. When you are egoisitic, it gets harder to take accountability which affects the way you apologise.
By acknowledging exactly what you did wrong and telling them what you plan to do in the future to avoid a repeat of the behavior.
Apologies without clarity on where you fucked up or follow-through by way of action are useless.
not to sound cliche or anything, BUT, a true apology is more that what you say and/or how you say it. it’s your behaviors AFTER the apology that matter most.
is it you who thinks you sound insincere every time, or has someone else given you this feedback?
if you’re under the impression that there is a specific thing you can say, or that there is a certain way to deliver it that is foolproof just so that you can say that you apologized and then go right back to the way you were behaving before, well then….. there is no good advice to give to you.
“Hey, just wanted to say that I’m genuinely sorry about *thing*. I realize that it was wrong, and while I thought my decision was justified, it obviously hurt you, and that is never my intent. I will do my best to take you into consideration in the future before doing things like that.”
Be genuine, don’t use backhanded remarks or try to save yourself. Just put it out there and accept the consequences.
Here’s a great video by Dr Kirk Honda on how to apologize sincerely.
https://youtu.be/1oDFBGcl-go?t=364
It’s a breakdown on Will Smith’s apology. But he goes in-depth into what he considers to be effective apologies working in couples therapy, based on research, etc.
– Accurately acknowledge the transgression.
– Accurately acknowledge the harm caused by transgression.
– Take responsibility
– Sincerely express remorse (actual apology)
There’s more to it, but apologizing means trying to be in that person’s shoe and understanding how you hurt them.
Do not explain your actions.
Briefly explain what you did was wrong, don’t go into full detail and make them relive it and get upset. Say you’re sorry. Say you’ll continue NOT doing shit like that. Say you don’t like what you did. Say if there’s anything else you can do to make it right, you’ll do it.
Sincerely. Don’t deflect blame or give reasons to your actions. Don’t apologize for the sake of apologizing. Mean it. Acknowledge that your actions led them to feel sad/mad/hurt/whatever the case. Apologize for them, not yourself
My fiancé prefers that I admit that I was wrong. If I do, all goes well, but if there’s even a shred of doubt I’m fighting. I’m guessing that fight will fizzle over time.
Never apologize. #RealChads
I have the same problem. I have a fairly monotone way of speaking so it sounds insincere. I usually try to explain that it doesn’t sound like I mean it, but that’s just the way I talk and I really am sorry.