I am going to a baby shower soon. I am no contact with my mother due to various abuse reasons (the most recent ones really sealed the deal)
I care for my SIL very much. She is such a kind and wonderful person and I do not want to do anything that could even remotely make her upset.
So, is there a way to politely avoid the woman?
3 comments
Depends how big the gathering is but at a baby shower, I would imagine that it would be difficult to avoid her, especially if she is determined to start a conversation. It’s a tough spot for you to be in. My approach would be to only engage with her if she addresses you directly, in which case limit your response to as few words as possible, or just nodding your head if you think you can get away with it. I think outright ignoring her if she attempts to talk to you is likely to make the atmosphere very awkward for other people.
If she tries to discuss your lack of contact or start a scene, nip it in the bud with something along the lines of, “This isn’t the time or place for that conversation, we’re here to celebrate SIL!” followed by a swift change of the subject.
Look up the gray rock technique. Point is for you to be as boring and even in your interaction as possible.
I’d say hello to her because that’s polite and if you don’t she’ll make it a “slight” and that’s it. If she tries to talk to you just “yes” “no” “I didn’t know that” “hmm” “that’s interesting” etc. You don’t say anything substantive—if you do, that opens the door.
If she tries to push your buttons or bring up a subject that you know will lead to an argument, just say “I hear you, give me a bit of time to process/think about what you’ve said and let’s talk more about it soon”
Dont forget shes the one who raised u. Meet her somewhere else and sort out all issues. Never disrespect ur parent even they r wrong.