He used me up since I was 15.
I gave him small things that were given to me or that I didn’t use anymore
It was him promising to give them back weeks/months later which never happened
When we were 18 he got a house with a girl he met using the phone he was supposed to pay me for
He had his friends in our home town telling me he was buying her pricier versions of what he owed me
He told my friends who wanted to sleep with him that he doesn’t owe me shit
His friends posted my business (uti) on Facebook and his brother got annoyed that I was around for so long that he told people at their car wash what I let his brother put me through
My mom is obsessed with my dating/sex life (even as an adult) and so is my brother who has been sexually abusing me and helping my mom spy on me through the years
She would hang out with their married dad, give him drinks, and send me to the car wash they worked at to clean her car
He (the situationship) would come back and pretend like he didn’t do anything. As soon as I’d remember and being up what he did he’d be gone.
We don’t even have sex. Just a cycle of him telling me or Implying that he likes me, we try to be friends, I remember What he did, I bring it up, he gets mad and blames me then leaves
I really needed someone this month. He reached out again. I thought I’d ask him to be there because I found out my brother Is a pedophile and my other family members and counselor want me to get out and contact authorities immediately. It’s a lot on my head
I thought he’d understand because I was there for him when his brother went to jail but he didn’t
He “forgot” I told him I need someone to be here because I’m going through a lot and asked me for sex
I told him I hope he dies
He got mad at me and I thought I made a God awful mistake. I spiraled and contacted him off of every page I had trying to apologize
I blocked him everywhere. It’s not easy. He’s the last person I consented to and I feel better when I think of him when I get flashbacks of being assaulted in college or of my brother abusing me
I have an unhealthy attachment to someone who was never there for me. He would ghost me around holidays and my birthday. He posted the girl who he hid getting a house with from me on a day he “thought” was my birthday. My birthday is next week and he’s gone again because I wished death on him
And please no comments about how I’m “just his booty call/cum rag/cum dumpster” you’re a shit person if that’s what you think I need to hear after all of this. Cry about your ex’s side chick on a post that’s not about someone’s trauma. A shame I have to add that
2 comments
There’s a lot to unpack there. If you can talk to your family about paying for you to go to counseling, that’s a great first step. You’re not alone and you’re better off without this dude or your brother in your life. You’re going to find men who respect you, you just have to respect yourself enough to push away the ones that don’t.
Definitely sounds like trauma. You’re still a baby when you’re 15 and it’s no wonder you developed an attachment. Therapy will help a lot.