I (19M) am an introvert, usually seen at his home / hostel (now) because the people I am friends with do not include me in their plans. They find me different, boring. I am good at studies so they call/text me only when they get some kind of advantage from me and then forget me. For now, let’s keep this “I get Left Out” problem aside.
Currently, I am on a journey to be more social from being the turtle in his shell that I am now. I have observed that I am unable to say “NO” to people. Anytime someone asks me for help, I prioritise them. If I have some H.W. I did with hard effort, I just give it to them. I dont know why. Secondly, when I ask people for some help, all I hear are excuses or NO in some or the other form. Even from the people I help. However, I see the members of their friends circle helping each other out all the time. Why do people do this to me ?
This is the reason I feel rejected / Unimportant. This might look like a story that should’nt really affect someone so much but it has demotivated me in other aspects.
A few hours back, I felt like I should upload some pics of me on insta (To get out of my comfort zone. Currently I have no pics of me there). That’s when I realised some things:
• I have no good pics of mine ever taken
• Even if I want to get my pictures clicked, who do I go to ? I hardly have 1-2 real friends and I am so shy that I won’t ask them too…
• Lets say, I somehow get my pictures clicked and do upload them, WHAT ARE THE REACTIONS GOING TO BE ???As I mentioned, I am not included in any friends circle, people use me for their advantage, and I get bullied, insulted or teased upon publicly all the time. These things mess with my head and make me refrain from doing many things I wish to do.
To conclude, Just answer this:
• How do I make myself someone, who is seen as ‘normal’ ?
• How do I ask people for something when I need it and make sure that they look at me as their friend and help me out ?
• How do I stop thinking about how people would judge me ?
1 comment
I would say don’t feel so pressed to be “a part of a group” all the time. Making your life all about becoming accepted is definitely not the healthiest thing. The priority should be to focus on you, how you can support/enrich yourself so you develop better self-esteem. Your view of you is the only thing that matters. So take care of yourself, keep fit, eat good nutritious meals, groom/look after your appearance and do anything that feeds your soul/engages your brain. Developing better self esteem in this way will also downplay what others think of you . “Friends” who will “accept” you into their group can always come later. And realise that if you only end up with ONE friend along the way – a small circle is a good circle.