When someone is talking to me and make eye contact while finishing a sentence, I nod my head. I might also say “Oh I see”.
The problem here is that “Oh I see” is literally the only response I have in these situations.
For example, I can ask someone for advice or question them about something. They finish a sentence stating an interesting fact, and I say “Oh I see”.
If the conversation grows long, then it feels weird to say “Oh I see” constantly. I am afraid it will make me look like a robot or someone who isn’t listening.
My other options are “ok” and “Oh wow”, but both don’t seem too adequate.
Saying ok sounds too passive, whereas “Oh wow” sounds sarcastic if I use it too often.
My other option is to say something to follow up to what they just said, but often times I am not sure if they finished talking. It’s awkward if I start talking when they haven’t finished talking.
What should I do in these situations?
4 comments
Ask a simple follow up question
Things I personally say a lot is “ah that makes sense” or “understandable” if it’s a closer friend I might also say “damn” or “really??” (The last two might sound sarcastic so be careful with them)
Asking questions to what they’re saying can also help and just looking at them or nodding when they say something also shows that you’re interested
If you struggle with eyecontact, you don’t have to stare at them, just occasionally look and maybe go like “mhm” in agreement to what they say
I go “mm-hmm”.
And sometimes I say “that’s so interesting! I’m just going to keep on listenin!”
I like “oh, really?” better because it feels less like a conversation-ender. “Oh, I see” can come off like “message received, further communication is no longer required.” Plus, constant affirmations like that (including “ohh, uhuh.”) cut the speaker off and don’t encourage him or her to keep talking.
I normally keep silent until I actually have something to say. Affirmations mean I understand their full thought or tangent. “Oh, really?” is an indication that I’m listening & want them to keep talking, and once is enough.
It’s so irritating when people pitch their voices up every 10 seconds such that I feel obligated to nod or say “mhmm.” Like, *yes*, I am still following, just as I was the last 10 times over the past minute!!!!!