Hey so this is a long one, but I don’t have anyone in my life who I can talk about this with right now.
First of before last night I was a complete virgin, never having even kissed a girl before. This is mainly because I had struggled with some mental health issues through highschool and had made the descion not to be in a relationship sense I needed to figure my shit out. I have worked through it and now that I am in college I just have started to date.
I’ve been daiting this girl for about a month now, and I really like her. She is a lot more experienced in relationships then I am which is something that we talked about beforehand. We were in my bed and we started making out and things just kind of kept escalating until I was fingering her. We were communicating the entire time and in the moment we were both really enjoying it. When we were done we went back to cuddling and talking for a bit, got some food, and I walked her home.
Now that time has passed I have alot of mixed feeeling about it and I am not sure how to proccesss them. For one thing I feel insecure because I was not able to get her to climax sense my shoulder start to hurt bad and we had to stop. I also had a hard time mainting an erection even though in the moment I was super turned on. I never took my underwear off but I am pretty sure she could tell. I don’t know if this will be a issue for me going forward or if it was just because of the nerves. I also feel like I may have jumped into this really quickly. In between she asked me if I was okay with this sense it was a lot for my first time, in the moment I said yes, but now I kind of wish I said no.
She wants to meet up again tonight and I am not sure if I should bring these things up with her. I have a lot to think about.
4 comments
Don’t over think it. She wants to see you again, great. When the time is right (you’ll know when),the two of you should talk about it. Adults in healthy relationships talk about such things. It sounds like she’s ok with your experience level and pace at which the relationship is going. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I admit that it can be weird to talk about at first, but it’s healthy to do so sooner rather than later.
Sounds like she had a good time and is coming back for more. That’s a big W. Keep the communication up, and don’t worry. It’ll all work out.
>I feel insecure because I was not able to get her to climax
Did you swim in the deep end of the pool during your first swimming lesson or nail your first attempt to parallel park? Of course not. You sucked at it for a while. Sex is the same way. Go easy on yourself, it takes time to learn someone’s body. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had sex with 1 person or 100, there’s still a learning process every time.
> I also had a hard time mainting an erection even though in the moment I was super turned on.
I am not a penis owner but based on what I read on this sub I think this is very common. Nerves and overthinking can kill your erection. Also, if you’re giving pleasure to someone else and your dick is not getting any attention it’s natural that you’d go a bit soft. Very normal fromy experience with penis owners.
The first thing to learn about sex and relationships is that there is no ‘normal’ you’re doing the most important (and hardest imo) thing: communicating.
Your dick is going to be temperamental. Everyone’s is.
Also, most girls need you to do what they like for them to get off. How do you work out what they like? Ask them. Ask them before, during and after.
Don’t let the expectations of society fuck with your brain. She says wants to see you. That means she wants to see you. If she doesn’t say what she means then that’s on her and it’s silly to try and second guess shit like that. Not just silly but impossible.