Hi all- I’m curious if someone might have some scientific/medical knowledge who might be able to provide some insight about potential cheating and how STDs are spread (or not spread). I started dating my current BF in early July, he had done all his STD/HIV screenings in late June and clear on all. He said he hadn’t been with anyone else since so I wasn’t in a rush to do my screenings at that point (I had recently). But I ended up getting tested late August and was clear on all labs. We had the discussion to potentially stop PREP and I asked him to get tested again (he was having unprotected sex with a FWB in June, and even though he was cleared late June I wanted to be extra cautious before stopping PREP, since there is an incubation period). He got tested about 4 weeks after my Aug labs and tested positive for chlamydia in the throat. He genuinely seemed to think he got it from me (and accused me of cheating) so I did labs a few days later and all were clear again. He seems perplexed/emotional at how this could have happened (when we speak about it, it really feels like he is being authentic)- he did hook up with a couple guys between his June tests and when we started dating. One thought from a medically knowledgable friend is that chlamydia is easily spread from other areas to the throat, but not so easily passed from the throat to other areas. After a lot of deliberation I have a few questions if anyone has any thoughts about this situation:
-If he caught chlamydia in the throat in late June, is it really possible for it to not have been passed to me by late August, even with lots of throaty oral sex?
-I know without symptoms, that someone infected with chlamydia would still test positive after the incubation period. But is it possible for it to incubate for several months before being contagious? If it had just passed the incubation period for him, and perhaps it had not incubated in my system yet?
We have a really wonderful connection otherwise, and the hard thing here is I really want to believe him (and I feel like I do when we talk about it) but I’m uneasy about the logic of the situation, that it feels far fetched that he actually got in in June. He may have cheated more recently and maybe I did even catch it but it hadn’t incubated in my system long enough to show up in my recent test. But since I took the recommended meds I really have no idea.
I also understand there are circumstances where you can forgive infidelity and open relationships exist and are normal, but we are not open and that would have to be founded on trust. And forgiveness would also be based on honesty. I really haven’t accused him of lying (and I am not making that accusation here) but in order to stay in this relationship I really need to feel like the best case scenario is actually viable (that he caught it in June and bc its hard to pass from the throat I just didn’t catch it for some lucky reason).
If you got this far thank you for reading!
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Lots of info from the US CDC [here](https://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm).