I (28yo) want to move out of state to pursue my career but my partner (29yo) does not.

My partner and I have been together for 5 years, coming up on 6. We knew each other growing up, and ended up together, which has been pretty great. Our relationship has had way more good days than bad, and it’s been the best relationship I’ve ever been in. Which is why this has been so tricky for me.

I’ve wanted to move out of my small town for years. I’m an artist at heart, and where I want to move to has plenty of opportunities for me in that field. I’m severely depressed every day knowing that I feel stuck somewhere that doesn’t really resonate with me. They’ve known that, and I’ve expressed it to them. Their answer is always the same: that it doesn’t matter where I live, I can do what I want in life wherever I am. Which is fair to say, but not reassuring.

The first time I mentioned seriously moving to them, they were absolutely against going with me. They didn’t want to leave because they’ve never moved that far before (one state over) and it resulted in a huge argument about it, but eventually, we talked it out, they came around and decided to give it a shot (or at least that’s what they said). They wanted to finish school first and I completely understood that.

That was two years ago when we had the conversation. They have not re-enrolled in classes to finish up their degree, and the first year, I understood (they took a heavy job that required traveling a lot) but a part of me now feels like they’re purposefully not doing it because they know it’s going to delay the process, thus keeping us in this small town. I don’t have any friends here; all of my friends are in the city I want to reside in. I know they don’t want to leave their friends and family, but to be honest, they only see their friends once or twice a month, and they never see their family.

I can’t dictate how people feel, but every time I have to sign another lease for a place that I do not want to be, more thoughts in my head start screaming at me that I am just wasting my life’s worth somewhere that I truly don’t feel like I belong.

Both my partner and I have jobs that allow us to move wherever we want in the states, excluding a few of them. So, finding work isn’t the issue at all.

And in more recent developments, my older sister just moved to the city that I want to move to, for the same reasons. It’s taking such a toll on me because we’re so close, and it just makes me want to move out there sooner.

I love my partner, and that’s what makes this difficult. They have moments where they’re excited about it then moments where it’s the absolute last thing they want to talk about. I want them to be happy, but I just feel like even if we do both move out there together, they’ll just hate it and leave. But if the last day of our lease comes, and they change their mind on giving it a shot, then I’m stuck. Leaving regardless can be an option, but as cheesy as it sounds, I feel like if I leave without them, then I shatter their entire world. I don’t know what to do. If you were ever in a similar situation, please tell me below. If you have any other questions, I’ll be happy to answer them (I wrote this kinda fast). All advice is welcome.

TL;DR: My partner is indecisive of whether they want to move a state over with me to pursue my career and I feel like it is taking a toll on me and them.