Just curious, how long you’ll be willing to go without intercourse in a committed relationship?

Also what if the person was having mental health issues? Or dealing with body dysmorphia? Would that change anything?

Also what if they still were passionately making up, and were giving oral sex?

The last question, would you at least be willing to bring it up to a partner before cheating? Would you be willing to work with them even if it meant taking baby steps, and what would you want the baby steps to be?

9 comments

  1. We’re at 4 years and counting for many reasons. Both of us are not interested in sex at the moment and still love one another. Also we don’t have sex outside our relationship.

  2. I’d never let our sex life go in a relationship. I make sure I my girlfriends this a soon as possible that we both need to fight for our sex life together. We need to keep it interesting and explore together. We need to me constantly communicating about our sex life. Cause sex is not something we talk about once instead it’s something we are constantly learning more about for the rest of our lives. If you are not communicating about your sex life then that leads other important part of your relationship not being talked about. In a relationship you need to be communicating about sex like it’s just another other topic. It’s needs to be just as casual of a topic as discussing what to eat for supper or what movie to watch. By bringing up the sex conversation as soon as possible you’ll find out how comfortable your partner is with sex. Because I personally am not interested in a anyone who doesn’t enjoy talking about sex. For this reason I go to sex clubs to meet that way I can be sure their interested in talking about sex. Instead of meeting a girl at the bar and have to feel for the appropriate time to bring up sex. Plus at a bar you have to make sure everyone is sober enough to consent. Whereas at a sex club people tend to not drink to be able to consent and enjoy every bit of it. My biggest fear is ending up in a sexless relationship so I tell my partner that right away. Then if they don’t agree that sexless relationship is wasting your life away then we are not compatible. Sex is important it strengthens your relationship as you explore your sexuality together.

  3. I crave sex literally every second of every day but somehow when I’m in love with someone and in a relationship my craving cease to exist and I feel content with everything. I’d be having sex with my boyfriend every day if we’re up for it but if that doesn’t happen I still don’t feel like I need release anymore. So if you’re really in love patience shouldn’t be a issue.

  6. I went 3 years at the beginning of our marriage having sex once a year. So, 364 days we’ll say is the longest – it was always on my birthday- but the longest I’d go now? I’m not sure. It would depend on the reason I think. The longest I have gone in the past 3 years was days. That was 18 months ago. Lately it’s every day.

  7. Honestly at this point in my life I can take it or leave it. We’ve been through so much just to fall out over not having sex on the regular. We’re fine being lovey dovey cuddle sloths instead of horny rabbits more often than not. Don’t get me wrong we enjoy being the latter too, but it’s not a threat to the foundation of our relationship if we go without it for a while. A lack of general affection might be though. I need my hugs and kisses.

    >Also what if the person was having mental health issues? Or dealing with body dysmorphia? Would that change anything?

    We been there, we survived those.

    >Also what if they still were passionately making up, and were giving oral sex?

    Fine by me. Also, I like to think of it as getting creative instead of making up for something.

    >The last question, would you at least be willing to bring it up to a partner before cheating? Would you be willing to work with them even if it meant taking baby steps, and what would you want the baby steps to be?

    Cheating wouldn’t cross my mind at all. I’m too old for that drama. I’m more than willing to work out a solution no matter how many baby steps we take instead going down that road.

  8. I hate it but we go two weeks in between sex. Trying to learn to be okay with it though because I love him.

  9. Let me tell you what — by _far_ — is the worst part of a sexless relationship: it’s when the other person acts like it’s all on you for wanting sex. That is just so corrosive and demeaning.

    You sounds like you are doing all you can to express your genuine love and desire for your partner. I cannot promise this is the case about your actual partner, but if it were me, that would be 90% of what I need.

    And of course, throw in regular oral and I am good for as long as we need to wait.

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